i'm tearing up as i write this.

thanksgiving break has come and gone.

and it's been incredible

even though i had to do lots of homework

and my family was sick.

i'm so so grateful for my family.

i really needed this time away from rexburg.

some highlights:

1. my five year-old nephew expressing gratitude for turkey legs.

2. dancing like a maniac in the middle of the road to make my niece and nephews smile so my sister could take fotos of them for their christmas card.

3. harry potter seven part one!

4. seeing my newest, darling niece, ingrid, twice! [comma explosion!]

5. getting the giggles while playing singstar with kari.

6. helping my mama make an apple pie.

7. visiting the orem library.

8. coming up with a post-grad plan. [grad school?/!]

9. eating delicious, delicious food.

10. seeing hannah grace!

it was a lovely break.

thank you, family, for making it so wonderful!

home = heaven

some people say that home is where you hang your hat.

i beg to differ.

i hang my proverbial hat in rexburg the majority of the time, but rexburg is not my home.

for me, home is where my beautiful family is.

the moment i walked in the door, i felt peace and love and happiness.

i wish i could stay forever.

but, alas, finals are in a few weeks and i still have two more semesters in idaho.

i'll worry about that a week from now.

but right now, i'm going to enjoy eating this delicious cake that just came out of the oven.

[recipe found here]

god natt!

i am writing this in my mesoamerican art history class.

GUESS WHAT.

i'm coming home today!

i am beyond excited for some much-needed quality time with my family.

HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY!

inspiration

in my history of design and illustration class on monday we learned about charles and ray eames.

they are a husband and wife duo who were very influential in the world of american modernist design,

and they just happen to be the cutest couple ever.

as we looked at their work, it really spoke to me. i loved everything i saw!

this is their home. BEAUTIFUL.

and here are some beautiful designs.

amazing, right?

i know it's not thanksgiving yet, but...

today i am grateful for:

new life

my new niece, ingrid

thanksgiving break

assignments that are due later than i thought

class at 1:15pm

arcade fire

no snow

a clean room

and

my beautiful family.

ADRENALINE.

tomorrow i have to pray/give a spiritual thought in my spanish class.

i am TERRIFIED.

it's been a long, long time since i've prayed in spanish and i don't remember how to do it and all my spanish-speaking friends are busy so i'm freaking out just a little bit.

i also have a pretty big art history test tomorrow which isn't helping my nerves at all.

can it please be thursday?

love love love!

i've been watching these videos for the past half hour and i cannot accurately describe in words how much i love them.

incredible!

holy cow.

[this gem was captured back in august]

today is my amazing nephew's EIGHTH BIRTHDAY.

i have no idea where the time went.

it seems like just yesterday i was being woken up really early in the morning by my dad telling me that i had a new nephew.

i remember carrying around pictures of him that my mom emailed me and showing them to all my friends.

i remember carrying him around target once when he was a chunky baby.

and now he's all grown up and getting baptized soon!

he is such a special boy and i love him so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, D!

words to live by.

"A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was."

--yoda--

i was watching the empire strikes back earlier tonight and these words hit me.

i mean, no one wants to end up like darth vader.

if you're constantly looking to the future, you won't appreciate the place you're in today.

i feel like i talk about this a lot, and for that i apologize, but i just feel this great need to keep my mind on where i am right now.

and it helps to be reminded of that goal often.

especially whilst watching star wars.

that yoda really knows what he's talking about.

snowflakes!

IT'S SNOWING IN MY LIVING ROOM!

i am the teensiest bit obsessed with making snowflakes this year.

last night, my roommate and i spent about an hour procrastinating homework and making beautiful snowflakes and hanging them on our ceiling as part of our festive holiday decor.

this is one of my favorites. it's made out of an old scroll issue.

it's the best way to use the scroll, in my opinion, because it's not worth reading.

i guess toilet paper would be a good option, as well...

we haven't finished everything yet, so this is more of a sneak peek,

but i just couldn't wait to show you these beauties!

how are you decorating your place for the holidays?

sunny disposition

this morning was gray, snowy, and freezing.

i was tempted to stay in bed until the last possible second,

but i decided to clean the kitchen instead.

and mop the floors.

and make my bed.

and clean and vacuum my room.

it's amazing how cleanliness and happy songs can change one's mood almost instantaneously.

if you're having a grumpy/cold/snowy/difficult/frustrating day, feel free to listen to the playlist posted below.

i promise it will make your day infinitely better!

a few favorites :: christmas music

i absolutely adore christmas music.

i usually can't start listening to it until after the first snow,

and since it started snowing today [!!],

my yuletide tunes have been joyfully ringing in my ears all day!

here are some favorite christmas albums of mine:

1.

jackson 5 christmas album

2.

a charlie brown christmas // vince guaraldi trio

3.

songs for christmas // sufjan stevens

4.

ella wishes ou a swinging christmas // ella fitzgerald

5.

a christmas album // bright eyes

6.

merry christmas from the beach boys

7.

christmas with the rat pack

what christmas albums do you like to listen to?

and so it begins.

it has been snowing

ALL

DAY

LONG.

when i woke up to those white flakes drifting from the sky, i was automatically angry and annoyed and grumpy and wanting to stay in bed all day.

but then i took some time to reacquaint myself with it,

and i saw the beauty in the cleanliness

and simplicity

and peacefulness of it all.

i switched out memories of

mascara streaming down my face as a result of the bulletlike snow pelting my eyes on my way to class,

cold toes,

ruined coiffures,

and slipping and falling all over the place

with thoughts of

sledding on the uvu campus,

making gigantic snowmen,

decorating the tree,

and watching white christmas whilst drinking hot cocoa.

so, with my new positive outlook in place

i slapped a smile on my face,

started decorating the living room [fotos will be posted at a later date],

and started listening to some christmas music.

and now, i am legitimately content.

BABIES!

in honor of my as yet unborn niece ingrid's due date today [note: due date, not arrival], i watched this beautiful film about the first year of a baby's life in four different areas of the world.

it was adorable and touching and giggle-inducing and i LOVED EVERY SECOND [the mongolian baby was my absolute favorite! those cheeks!!].

if you know me at all, you know that i've been pretty baby-crazy since i got back from ecuador. prior to watching this, i was afraid that it would make my baby insanity worse, but it didn't!

if you are:

a. a mother

b. a future mother

c. a daughter

d. baby-crazy [like me]

e. a father

f. a future father

then you need to watch this.

here's a little taste:

my thanksgiving wish list.

it's been a rough week.

thank goodness thanksgiving break is in a couple short weeks!

in anticipation of this much-needed vacation, i have compiled a list of things i would like to do while i am home.

1. see harry potter and the deathly hallows part one

2. eat delicious food

3. see the lights at temple square

4. play singstar and ddr with kari

5. [hopefully] see my new niece, ingrid [!!!!!!]

6. eat cold apple pie for breakfast the day after thanksgiving

7. relax

8. get lots of hugs from my mom and dad

9. help my mom cook thanksgiving dinner

10. learn how to make the best apple pie ever

that is all i ask.

i can't wait to come home!!

.ereh ti etah i

right now i'm feeling completely and utterly hopeless.

i feel like i'll never get out of this place.

i have to take these two "foundations" classes [loooooong story] and i can't even sign up for one of them for next semester because i need to take a pre-requisite english class. at this rate, i won't get out of here next spring like i had originally planned.

i'm not excited about any of my classes next semester. none of them interest or excite me but because i go to this stupid school, my options are very limited.

i seriously don't know how much of this i can handle.

i feel like byu-idaho is darth vader and i'm someone he strangles with the force.

i feel suffocated and frustrated and fed up with everything and everyone here.

thanksgiving needs to come sooner.

i just saw inception for the very first time.

mind = blown.

cinematic perfection.

that's all i have to say about that.

a simple question.

who in their right mind would change their clothing in the bathroom [not a stall, mind you, the main part of the bathroom] of a building on campus?

i pose this question because i just walked into the bathroom and there was a girl just standing there in her underwear.

WHY?!

people here are so weird.

just two final thoughts for the day.

1. i have never been so inspired to pick up a guitar/ukulele/piano [it's impossibly to pick up a piano alone] and practice until my fingers bleed.

with every show i attend, there comes with it a feeling of inadequacy and desire and wishfulness [i'm the queen of wishful thinking (a la go west)] to be those people on the stage, singing their emotions and sharing the contents of their minds and hearts with all who listen.

but there's always that side of me that tells myself i'm not good enough and never will be.

how do you tell a part of you to shut up?

how does one get over these feelings of inadequacy?

2.

this video is pretty awesome. i love alone time so much, but my alone time occurs in my room and not outside of my apartment.

i feel this need to feel comfortable being alone [sans ipod/cell phone] so this was a very educational video for me to watch.

it also helps that it's beautifully done.

the sky is on fire.

1. registration on the byu-idaho website is impossible. and frustrating. especially when you want to get out of here ASAP and all the classes you need to take in order to accomplish this are offered at the same times.

.ereh ti etah i

2. i have the solution for insomnia: jonsi and alex + sleepytime tea.

.gnihtoos os

3. my graphic design teacher made the funniest accidental pun today. we were talking about the bauhaus and how it believed that all art had the same foundation and he said "they believed that all art was De Stijl'd into... wait a second... i mean, distilled!" the whole class started laughing so hard and it took a little bit to get everyone back on track.

.sdren era ew

4. the sunsets in rexburg have been gorgeous lately. i'll look out the window and everything will look rosy and pink. the next time i look out, the sky will be on fire.

.gnikathtaerb ylpmis

5. how is it november already?? this news both excites and terrifies me. i'm excited for thanksgiving, but terrified for what happens after thanksgiving: FINALS.

.dnim ym fo tuo deracs

6. beatles rock band is incredible.

.efil ym otni uoy teg ot tog

7. today was so warm and beautiful, but my roommates are playing christmas already.

.tey gnivigsknaht neve ton s'ti

8. any bad day can be made better by watching modern family.

".pmub tsehc yug strops"

hold on love

on saturday i had the opportunity and privilege to see azure ray live at the state room in salt lake city.

(maria taylor + orenda fink = azure ray)

it was glorious.

i sat in a church pew for the whole show [which was both weird and fitting] and just soaked up all the beauty of their music.

before the show started, i decided that the only song i wanted/needed to hear that night was "displaced". and, lucky for me, it was the second song they chose to perform and, needless to say, i was not disappointed. tears stung my eyes as i listened to the song that got me through the hardest of times and thought about my family and friends and how much i love them all.

(here is a crappy video of this beautiful song)

every song they played was gorgeous and perfect and dreamy and emotional.

i'm so glad i went.