dos años

i realized today that it has officially been two years since i returned home from ecuador.

two.
whole.
years.

can you believe it?
i sure can't.

i spent some time today looking through all my photos and reading my blog posts and journal that i wrote throughout my time there.

and i came to this realization once again: that experience--those brief two-and-a-half months--changed my life completely.

because of my time in ecuador, i now know what i want to do with my life.
as i've mentioned before, i am an aide in a special needs classroom. it is the most wonderful job on earth and i LOVE it. in fact, i love it so much i am looking into programs through different universities that can get me certified as a special ed teacher. i truly feel like it's my calling in life.
and if i had never gone to ecuador, i never would've gotten that job that has influenced my future plans in a major way.
when i told the principal and teachers in my job interview about my time there and what i had done, they offered me the job on the spot.
i don't even want to think about how miserable i would be today if i had never gone to ecuador and had just stuck with spanish education as my major.

because of my time in ecuador, i now know how to love unconditionally and be patient.
even though i loved being in south america and working with such adorable children, there were still hard days. there were days i was thrown up on, a specific day in which a child smeared her poop all over me, and days where nothing went right.
but then something would happen to make it all worth it and cause me to still love those children and the work i was doing there.
one experience in particular demonstrates this very well.
i was working in the cunas [infants and toddlers] one evening and this one child, who was infamous for being a pill, was hitting kids left and right, pulling hair, stealing toys, and was even caught biting a poor, sweet, innocent baby.
he was a hellion.
as i was changing his diaper and putting his sleeper on him before bedtime, the annoyances didn't stop. every time i would zip up his sleeper, he would unzip it. i would literally turn my back on him for two seconds and all of the clothes i had just put on him would be on the floor.
at the end of my rope, i put his sleeper on backwards, picked him up, put him in his crib, and said a hasty "buenas noches."
but as i turned to walk away, he held his arms out to me and uncharacteristically gave me a long hug and a sweet goodnight kiss on the cheek.
after that happened, every frustration i had felt regarding his behavior that afternoon completely disappeared and love filled my entire being.
i still remember that and apply that to the work i do now.

because of my time in ecuador, i graduated from byui more quickly.
as some of you may remember, i had been in quarter life crisis mode for a while before and during the time i was in south america.
but it was being in south america that changed my perspective on what i should be studying in school.
and, as a result, i graduated two semesters earlier than i would've graduated if i had stayed in the spanish education program.
that may be the biggest blessing of all [not really--but i sure am glad i'm not in rexburg anymore].

because of my time in ecuador, i now want to have children.
during my preteen and teenage years, my mom and i watched a lot of TLC.
this was before the monstrosity of "toddlers and tiaras" and "four weddings" [a terrible show in which bratty brides harshly judge each others' weddings and compete for a "dream honeymoon"].
we would watch "a wedding story" [which i LOVED--but i've always loved weddings, so that's not a big surprise] and "a baby story."
when it came to watching "a baby story" less was more, in my opinion. i'd watch the first part where the couple talks about how excited they were to be parents, skip the labor and delivery part, and then watch the end where they showed the baby and what they named it and how big it was.
after hearing the moans and screams and other scary things that happened during the delivery scenes, i decided promptly that i would only adopt and never give birth. too disgusting.
and i felt that way up until i got back from ecuador.
i still want to adopt, of course, but for some reason, being around those beautiful, sweet kids just made me want children of my own.


a friend who had gone to ecuador once before and actually introduced me to the program once told me that even though she had been home for over a year, she still thought about "her" kids every single day.
and now i can say that even though it's been two years for me, i think about my ninos every day. i worry about them, hope they're doing well, and wish i could be back there to take care of them once again. in one of my posts from that time, i said that i cared for those darling kids as if they were my own. and that is still true. i still care for and love them even though we are thousands of miles apart and now spread out all over the world [thanks to their adoptive families].

i wish there was a way i could give back what they gave me.
i wish there was a way they could know how much they changed my life for the better.

i guess for now i'll just have to stick to remembering and thinking of them often and applying the lessons i learned there to my life now.














[cute baby and my gargantuan hand.]