i just got in trouble for switching my uncomfortable chair for a nice wheelie.

albums i listened to while homeworking in the library:
1. wincing the night away // the shins
2. the essential bob dylan
3. end of amnesia // m. ward
4. designing for a nervous breakdown // the anniversary
5. figure 8 // elliott smith
6. fleet foxes // fleet foxes


new favorite thing = shuffle by album on itunes.
my itunes library knows me well.
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i just realized i haven't done a birthday post yet.
i apologize. really, i do.
but i have finals this week and almost no memory on my computer for more pictures.

so, that will have to wait, i suppose.
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this semester has been wonderful and difficult all at the same time. reviewing past winter semesters leads me to honestly state that this is the best winter semester i've ever had.
but i'm still really angry at myself.
and a little, tiny part of me still feels like i wasted my semester [academics-wise]. even though i worked really, really hard, it still wasn't good enough. i know that it's not wholly my fault that i'm not doing as well as i could be, but i also know that i could have worked harder.
i could have gotten help when i needed it.
i could have not procrastinated.
i could have not skipped so many classes [but who wants to go to a film class taught by a man who seriously thinks that the princess bride is the greatest film ever made? not i].
i could have dropped my religion class after i found out that it was covering the second half of the old testament when i hadn't studied the first half.
i could have spent more time at the library.
i could have i could have i could have i could have

i could go on and on. but i know that thinking about the "could-haves" won't help me at all.
what will help me is honestly looking at myself and the results of this semester and vow to do better.
what will help me is to realize what is truly important and what really lasts and remember that through the hard times and impossible classes and mountainous homework.

if i learned anything this weekend, i learned that complaining is not an option for any of us. we have the gospel, we have families and friends, roofs over our heads, food in our cupboards, the blessing of living in this country and in this beautiful world created for us, talents, freedom, colors, art, music...

i don't think i'm making much sense anymore, so i'll just end on the point i was trying to make:
next time will be very, very different.
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i'm so excited for ecuador.

my good friend [and future nyc flatmate] went last year and blogged about it here.
enjoy!
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only three more days of school.
i can do it?

i can do it.