it all started when i was six.
i remember sitting in the hard, orange, plastic chair and listening to mrs. hinton talk about violins, oboes, trumpets, and harps and how they, along with many other instruments, made up the orchestra.
i remember learning folk songs.
i remember being sung to on my birthday and getting to take a handful of skittles from mrs. hinton's sacred skittle birthday cup.
and i remember thinking, "this is what i want to do with my life."
fast forward twelve years.
on my application to byu-idaho, i checked Music Education for the major i had a desire to pursue and signed up for one (1) music class.
it was music 101.
and i hated it.
i did well, but every single person in the classroom was a music major.
and every single one of them gave off a very distinct "music major" aroma.
and it stinks.
and i remember looking around me on my first day, overhearing conversations of my fellow classmates and thinking, "this is not who i want to become."
fast forward one year.
remembering how much i loved my humanities 101 class, i decided to change my path of life and teach humanities in a high school.
but byu-idaho only has a humanities minor.
so i picked English with an Emphasis in Literary Studies as my major with a minor in Humanities.
sounds impressive, eh?
i thought so.
but i took one semester of humanities 201
and two semesters worth of english classes.
and nearing the end of my second semester studying that field, i remember thinking, "HELP!"
two weeks later, i was changing my major to Spanish Education with a minor in English Education [solely because i had taken so many english classes and thought i could graduate faster that way].
fast forward one more year.
i was in hell.
all i remember thinking was a mixture between "i'm drowning and can't get to the water's surface!" and "why am i putting myself through this?" and "i'm dropping out. that's the only solution."
people kept telling me that once i had an experience outside of the united states speaking spanish, my inner voice would shut up and i would regain confidence and have a new desire to succeed.
so i went to ecuador.
and, upon my return, realized that all of those people were wrong.
but what could i do?
social work?
art history?
music [once again]?
elementary ed?
early childhood and special education?
university studies?
home and family education?
flower arranging??
underwater basket-weaving?!?!
i still have no idea.
this whole fiasco started with a music class.
mrs. hinton, i blame you.
3 comments:
i did the very same thing when i smelled "art major."
a good starting place for me was: what do i do when i don't have to do anything?
what do i get excited to talk about?
it took me a long time to figure it out too. good luck!
Kellie,
I have been seriously considering changing my major from English Ed to Elementary Ed. because I love working with the class I am in right now. I don't know if this will help at all, but maybe if you could like spend a while in a classroom or at a job that you think you would like it would make it easier to decide. I don't think I'll ever know EXACTLY what I want to do. I think if we all need to try a lot of different things and when we find something we love stick with it. Ummm..hope that helped...
I don't know what to say, dude. I agree with Lyndee, though - I think you're going to love being in a classroom - you should try and see.
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