for realskies...

today i have three stories to share.

all of which are typical kellie/future sitcom anecdotes.

ANECDOTE ONE

i was sitting at a desk in the classroom where my usual sunday school class was held, minding my own business, when my fhe brother entered and took the seat next to mine. i greeted him with a smile because i was in a legitimately good mood. he looked at me, smiled, and said, "kellie, you look beautiful today! has anyone told you that today?" and i said no to which he replied, "well, i know there are lists of people who who thought that about you but were too afraid to say it." i was FLOORED. no boy has ever said anything so sweet to me before and i was about to say thank you again when

ALLOFASUDDEN

my gum flew out of my mouth and somehow stuck to my bottom lip.

gross.

he busted up laughing and i was so embarrassed but somehow managed to get through it by saying that i was so surprised by what he said to me that my gum flew out of my mouth.

not my smoothest moment ever.

and not my last unsmooth moment of the day.

which brings me to...

ANECDOTE TWO

my good friend and old fhe brother, matt, invited me and my roommates over to play a board game. so, we made our way up to the aldridge house and began to play the game hoopla [which is AWESOME].

ALLOFSUDDEN

this whiff of dog doo-doo wafted up into my nostrils.

matt asked me if i smelled dog poop and i said yes.

he checked his shoes, found a little mysterious spot on the bottom and decided he was the culprit. as a result, he removed his shoes, threw them outside, and put different shoes on.

but when he sat down, the stench was still there.

so, i checked my shoes and saw nothing on the right shoe, and a HUGE POOP SMEAR on my left shoe.

"IT'S ME!", i yelled as i ran out the door, scraped off the bottom of my shoe on the stoop, and left my shoes on the front porch.

when i returned, i found everyone doubled over in laughter.

it didn't help that, when guessing what a drawing was, i yelled out "MOON PLANET!" or that i did a terrible TERRIBLE impression of sean connery that will NEVER BE REPLICATED.

ANECDOTE THREE

at matt's house, i was offered a vanilla coke and i took it. my roommate, for some reason, texted my friend aaron to tell him i was drinking a coke and he texted me saying he wanted some. so i saved half of mine and planned to take it to his house after i was done playing hoopla.

as planned, i walked over to aaron's apartment, coke in hand, and offered it to him. he drank the whole thing in one swig and handed the "empty", crushed can back to me. aaron brought up a modern family reference ["oscar wilde and crazy brunch"] and i pretended to crush the can on my forehead like they do in the movies.

ALLOFASUDDEN

i spilled coke all over my new, beautiful, steal of a j.crew dress.

i started laughing and dabbing toilet paper [the only paper product in aaron's apartment] on all the stains and aaron ran to his room to get some shout spray.

he then proceeded to spray it ALL OVER ME.

it was weird.

so i had to run home in a dress that looked like someone had shot me multiple times.

come what may and love it, right?

the impossible is possible tonight.

i heard this song at sammy's today and it made me happy.

i also just love this music video a whole lot.

TMI

i'm no stranger to awkward/embarrassing moments.

in 7th grade PE, i was running to first base and my shorts ripped up the side of my leg all the way to my waistband.

in 8th grade, i tripped and rolled down three flights of cement stairs. that is, after falling on my crushoftheweek and almost pulling his pants down.

in high school, we sang "bohemian rhapsody" for one of our final concerts and i did an air guitar jump in front of everyone [this was not embarrassing to me then, but is VERY embarrassing to think about now].

but the moment i experienced today... it takes the cake.

today i went to the community care place in rexburg because i haven't been feeling well.

i told the nurse my symptoms and she directed me to the bathroom to pee in a cup [TMI?].

she closed the door behind me and i assumed she locked it.

but lo and behold, the door swung wide open and at least five people saw me sitting on the pot.

the man who opened the door looked shocked and slammed the door shut yelling an apology through the door.

i waited in the bathroom for a couple extra minutes because i was so embarrassed, and emerged to find three nurses ushering me into my examination room apologizing all the way.

one of the nurses apologized profusely and told me that a doctor would be in to see me soon and closed the door behind her.

after about five minutes of waiting, the door swung open...

and the man who walked in on me in the bathroom WAS MY DOCTOR.

and that, my friends, is why my life should be a sitcom.

i think i need a vacation.

today my parents, brother, and sister arrived in beautiful san diego to visit my brother and his family.

i am chartreuse with envy.

instead of being there, i am stuck in a place where it is necessary to get approval from the rexburg city council for a bunch of people to do a "zombie walk" on main street and where the mayor spoke against the whole shebang by saying, "Some of these parades across the country have got some crackpots in it that are not properly dressed for Rexburg standards."

don't even get me started. don't EVEN get me started.

i guess all i can do for the next 2.5 semesters is listen to this song over and over again and not let the idiots of rexburg get me down.

autumn music

i've been studying for the last hour for a bear of a test in my mesoamerican art class that i have to take at eight am tomorrow morning.

the reason why it's so hard to study for is because i have no idea what to study or how to study everything effectively.

i'm getting very very frustrated.

and whenever i feel frustrated whilst studying, i know that it's time for me to take a break.

thus, the following list...

albums perfectly suited for autumn listening

[in no particular order]

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

what do you like to listen to during autumn?

get off your high horse.

tonight as i was walking with my friend matt and a girl he hometeaches to spanish stadium singing, i witnessed the most infuriating conversation known to man.

kayla* let us know that she was "ten percent engaged" because her almost-fiance had put ten percent down on her ring. she then proceeded to badger matt about how he's not dating anyone right now, even going so far to say, "the prophet has told us that we need to date. you should be going on a date every single weekend." as he explained to her that he barely has enough time to get all of his projects done every week, let alone even think about asking a girl out, she kept going on and on about how she's getting married and how he needed to get married as well.

now, let me just say that i understand the importance of temple marriage. i look forward to finding a man perfectly suited to me and being sealed to him for time and all eternity. i can't wait to be a mother. marriage is a good thing! i know this to be true!

however, as a young, single woman living in the Bubble, i get the marriage sermon at least once a week whether its from a bishopric member, the devotional speaker, a professor, or a sunday school/relief society teacher. the very last thing i want to hear is another lecture about the importance of marriage. especially from a peer.

moving on.

i held my tongue during her speech about marriage and tried to think positively.

but things got worse.

somehow, byu provo was introduced into the conversation. she mentioned something about tunnel singing [?] every sunday and how byu-idaho's knock-off of tunnel singing is stadium singing. so, i made a joke about how that makes sense because byu-idaho is basically a knock-off of byu provo.

bad move, kellie.

i was then subject to another speech about how byu-idaho is "the Lord's University".

now, if you know me at all, you know this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. i listened to her say that byu provo isn't the Lord's University because they focus on educational pursuits more than spiritual growth.

i'm sorry, but how does that make us better than them? isn't gaining secular knowledge important in the eyes of the Lord? don't byu students in provo have to take religion classes just like us in rexburg?

it took all the strength i possess to not fire back at her. i know that even though she had a joking tone in her voice, she really meant what she said and i didn't want to make things awkward [especially because i had just met her], but i'm just so fed up with the bad attitudes that people have up here in regards to other universities.

i wish there was something i could do to help people see that we're not the only people on the face of the earth and that there are good people all over the world.

i wish there was a way i could stomp out the prejudice and rash judgements in people's minds and make them see that every single person on this earth is a true son or daughter of God who deserve love and respect.

i wish i could make them see how wrong they are.

i just want to drop every person like kayla* at byu-idaho somewhere other than rexburg and make them see how stupid they are to think the way that they do.

and that is all i have to say about that.

for now.

[only 2.5ish semesters left]

*name has been changed

patience

this is a beautiful message that really spoke to me today.

enjoy!

the most superficial post you'll ever see from me. guaranteed.

earlier tonight, some friends were asking me who was in my Top Ten.

so, after much thought and deliberation, here it is [in no particular order]:

1.

mark ruffalo

2.

justin timberlake

3.

paul rudd

4.

jack black

5.

jason segel

6.

seth rogen

7.

jimmy fallon

8.

peter sarsgaard

9.

juanes

10.

shia labeouf

and just like that... it's autumn

M. Ward "Chinese Translation" from DJ Bunny Ears on Vimeo.

last night on my sojourn to broulims to buy brussels sprouts, carrots, onion, garlic, and a frozen pizza [for Frozen Pizza Movie Night], i thrust my hands in the pockets of my flannel-lined jacket, burrowed my chin into my lilac scarf, and realized that

it

was

fall.

it's in the air,

the cheers of the crowd at the football games,

the layers of clothing we all pile on,

and the crunch of the leaves underfoot.

maybe my subconscious self was ignoring the yellow and orange leaves and embracing the recent sunshine and warm weather, but even though it is october ninth, i still am surprised with autumn's swift arrival.

i'm not complaining,

just contemplating.

literally from one day to the next it changed from summer to fall.

does that mean that allofasudden fall semester will be over and it will be

winter semester?

and then, as fast as it came, winter will retreat and spring and sunshine and melting snow will prevail?

does that mean that crisp spring mornings will evolve into gorgeous summer afternoons spent in the sunshine?

i guess what i'm trying to say is that

time is a funny thing.

it ebbs and flows like ocean waves.

it flies out of my grasp like an autumn leaf and stays as stagnant as the freshly-fallen snow on a winter morning.

it makes me think...

am i truly taking advantage of my time here?

am i fully appreciating and embracing student/single life?

i honestly don't think so.

and that must change.

this what i like to call a vacation!

it's 2:40 in the afternoon,

it's rainy and cloudy outside,

i had peppermint hot cocoa for breakfast,

and i haven't even showered yet.

I LOVE FRIDAYS.

i felt life and love and hope infested my bones.

today was an absolutely beautiful day full of thunder and lightning, a delicious meal [that actually became two meals], and interesting classes.

in fact, i had five good things about today before dinnertime! AMAZING!

so, here we go:

1. my 19th century art history class was cancelled allowing me to take a...

2. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL NAP!

3. i finally used part of my zucchini-baby [aka the giant zucchini given to us by our generous fhe brothers] in my italian stir-fry

4. project runway was on!

5. i got the majority of my homework for this weekend all done!

so, all in all, it was a good day [even though i'm definitely coming down with a cold and spent the majority of the day wrapped up in a blanket doing homework].

and that's something to be grateful for.

my 3rd post today and my 300th POST EVER!

in celebration of my 300th [WOW! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??] post, i would like to share this video.

it features two of my celebrity crushes and one of my favorite music genres.

and it is awesome.

here's to 300 more, friends!

enjoy!

shout-out.

i have the best friends and family in the biz.

seriously.

your posse can't even hold a candle to mine. [did i word that phrase right?]

today, as mentioned in my previous post, was rough to say the least.

but i have felt so much love from my friends and i feel so completely blessed.

so, to all of you who have brightened my dark dark day,

i want you to know that i am forever grateful for your kindness and love,

and that your words have comforted me,

and that i love you all.

so, to finish off the list:

3. asphalt pie

4. phone calls from friends who care

5. laughing

on and on again.

it's getting harder and harder to come up with five things that made me happy each day.

but i'm giving it a shot.

1. quiet as a mouse on repeat.

2. "i tell my daughter every day 'THAT'S NOT REAL ART.'" --brother memmott in regards to the way disney puts disney princesses on everything.

3. ...

4. ....

5. .....

i guess two reasons is better than zero.

to be continued?

i love good music more than almost anything in the world.

this evening things turned around for me.

i decided to go to the snow[building] to play some piano and it made my day a thousand million gazillion times better.

i learned how to play

this song

and this song

and it was so therapeutic.

thank goodness for piano, for music, and for a practice room that smells like a freshly-washed boy.

i hate the music from glee more than anything in the world.

this is where my mind is.

taken in san diego october 2009

edited in picnik

today has been pretty bleak.

this list is necessary.

five good things about today, 5 october 2010:

1. the completely obnoxious girl in my mesoamerican class was absent!

2. best friend sent me some new, great music [including the new azure ray, margot and the nuclear so-and-sos, and early metric].

3. texts like this: "Hi Kellie. I love you and im really glad youre my friend"

4. a very much needed four-hour-long nap.

5. sitting next to a good-smelling boy.

grab bag!

i've been listening to this song all day because

IT'S RAINING!

it was the bright spot of my day and i love that fresh smell of rain wafting through my window.

-----------------------

in other news...

1. last night i had a dream that i was watching devotional in the hart and the usher people kept taking people out for no reason. i got pulled out of my seat and waited in a really, really long line that moved very slowly. after what felt like hours, i was shoved into a room with a lady holding up two hangers in one hand and a floor-length, shapeless dress in the other. she looked me up and down with judgmental eyes and told me that i was taken out of devotional because i was dressed immodestly and needed to change out of my clothes into the sack she grasped in her evil talon. i silently stood my ground, staring her down, as she told me i would be kicked out of school if i didn't change. i looked at my modest clothing, seeing nothing wrong with my ensemble, looked back at her, shoved the hangers in her face and pulled the dress over her head and ran out of the room. as i ran, sirens wailed and i heard footsteps with accompanying voices calling out "CODE RED! CODE RED! REBEL IN THE AREA!".

and then i woke up.

i've been in rexburg too long.

one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind

everyone should watch this.

it is stunning and breathtaking and proves how incredible this universe truly is

and how incredible our Creator is for making it all happen.

rent/netflix it asap.

cinco cosas.

well, the novelty has officially worn off.

it's hard to come up with five things i'm grateful for each day.

but there are always five things to be happy about.

and that is all i have to say.

a letter

dear kristen penwell (nee carlson):

today is your lucky day!

as you know, it is tuesday.

and as you know from your previous enrollment as a student at byu-idaho, and as a roommate of mine, it's SCROLL DAY!
which means it's KRISTEN AND KELLIE SCROLL-BASHING DAY!
[the following headlines are, as always, very real and very facetious]
-"Laptops connect to Facebook on campus network"

[hasn't this always been the case?]
-"Canned food provides charity, dates"

[i don't even want to know.]

-"Cell phone use disrupts library studies"

[duh.]
-"Stories come to life on the big screen"

[WHO COMES UP WITH THESE TOPICS??]
-"Rexburg 'bubble' is a rarity and a blessing"

[i'm not even going to talk about this one.]

in closing, i would like to include a letter to the editor entitled "Rebellion, sense of entitlement drowns out the Spirit of Ricks" [author's name withheld for his own personal protection]. enjoy.

"It is unfortunate that a spirit of rebellion persists on the BYU-I campus, which in turn drowns out the Spirit of Ricks and the Spirit of the Lord. From those who knowingly choose to wear flip-flops, to dresses and skirts which do not reach the knees, to those who save seats before devotional.

Do those who save seats before devotional somehow feel entitled to do so, and is that really what the Lord would have us do? To some it might not seem that big a deal to save seats or even slide a little on the Honor Code, but it certainly shows a lack of spiritual integrity to the simplest of principles: obedience.

None of this is meant to pass judgment; I only mention this because of the pervasive attempts by the adversary to lure us to think that 'all is well, yeah [sic] Zion prospereth.' We hear prayers on a regular basis that we will do the will of the Lord; yet, how simple a principle: do not save seats before devotional? Will we maintain a spirit of rebellion, as did Naaman, when Elisha told him to bathe seven times in the river Jordan; and because it was simple, it seemed to be too difficult to follow the council [sic]? (2 Kings 5:10-14).

The first law of heaven is obedience, which is a simple concept. After all, by 'small and simple things, are great things brought to pass,' even if one can't save seats."

seriously?! someone actually has a problem with this?? and has the gall to liken saving seats at devotional to the story of naaman??

this dude is WACK.

kristen, i think it's safe for me to say that you are missed dearly!

until next week,

kellie

ps: here's another gem: "I've fought that stereotype with the violence of a cornered raccoon..." oh, dear.