getting on my soapbox. again.

let me introduce myself.

my name is kellie,

i am an art history student at byu-idaho,

i am single,

i am twenty-three years old,

and i am fed up.

a few weeks ago, there was an opinion piece in the scroll [byu-idaho's newspaper] written by a single girl in her last semester. she began the article by talking about her future expectations as a freshman at byu-idaho, especially in regards to marriage. she said that she didn't expect to still be single as a senior in college, but that she's happy that she isn't married right now. upon re-reading that article, i do agree that the manner in which she wrote the article is more rant-y than it should've been [for example, she calls all men losers and repeatedly disses married life while at the same time saying she's not trying to insult married people] and pretty poorly-written, she had one point that was worth making: "It seems that as a woman at 'BYU-I-do' you can’t be accomplished until there’s a ring on your finger."

as a byu-idaho student who has attended this university for five years and counting, i know that this is the opinion of many people whether they be faculty members, bishops, fellow students, and even students who attend other universities. for example, last summer i attended my singles ward back in orem, utah. i chose a seat and sat down and was joined shortly by a guy i had never met before. he began making small talk and asking me all kinds of questions, all of which i answered. however, once he found out i was still single at 23 and a student attending byu-idaho, he said the following: "you've been at that school for FOUR YEARS?? and you're not married yet?? at 'byu-i do??' what's wrong with you?" although he made this comment in jest, it didn't sit right with me. and i began to wonder

is there something wrong with me?

a couple days ago, my roommate was in the library and overheard a conversation between a single guy and a married girl. the subject of dating came up and the married girl asked the guy if he was dating anyone. he said that he had been on a lot of dates with younger girls this semester because "older girls are weird." when my roommate, who is also 23 and single, related this to me, i openly expressed my frustrations but inwardly wondered

am i weird because i'm an "older girl"?

today i feel the need to declare that no, there is nothing wrong with me and that i'm not weird because i'm "older" and single.

there is nothing wrong with being single in your 20s [let alone your early 20s],

there is nothing wrong with getting a degree and entering the workforce,

there is nothing wrong with graduating from byu-idaho a single woman,

and there is absolutely nothing wrong with believing these things are true.

success is not measured by the rock on a woman's ring finger.

success is measured by achieving goals, whether they're career-driven or family-driven.

a successful woman is a woman who is content and happy with what she is doing in life whether she's getting her masters, changing diapers, or making an impact in the workplace.

each of these things are noble and worthy endeavors.

marriage is personal. it happens people throughout all stages of their life depending on when the Lord feels they are ready for it.

and although marriage and motherhood are my greatest desires in life, i am not going to waste my life waiting and wishing for it to happen. because i know that it will happen for me when the Lord sees fit. i trust Him. and i know when it happens, i will be very, very happy.

but that doesn't mean i can't be happy with my life now. i am happy i'm in school and gaining an education. i am happy i'm learning about things that really interest me and enrich my life.

so, let me re-introduce myself.

my name is kellie,

i am an art history student at byu-idaho,

i am single,

i am 23,

i am not an old maid,

i am not unsuccessful,

my marital status does not define me,

and i am one hundred percent satisfied with my life.