getting on my soapbox. again.

let me introduce myself.

my name is kellie,

i am an art history student at byu-idaho,

i am single,

i am twenty-three years old,

and i am fed up.

a few weeks ago, there was an opinion piece in the scroll [byu-idaho's newspaper] written by a single girl in her last semester. she began the article by talking about her future expectations as a freshman at byu-idaho, especially in regards to marriage. she said that she didn't expect to still be single as a senior in college, but that she's happy that she isn't married right now. upon re-reading that article, i do agree that the manner in which she wrote the article is more rant-y than it should've been [for example, she calls all men losers and repeatedly disses married life while at the same time saying she's not trying to insult married people] and pretty poorly-written, she had one point that was worth making: "It seems that as a woman at 'BYU-I-do' you can’t be accomplished until there’s a ring on your finger."

as a byu-idaho student who has attended this university for five years and counting, i know that this is the opinion of many people whether they be faculty members, bishops, fellow students, and even students who attend other universities. for example, last summer i attended my singles ward back in orem, utah. i chose a seat and sat down and was joined shortly by a guy i had never met before. he began making small talk and asking me all kinds of questions, all of which i answered. however, once he found out i was still single at 23 and a student attending byu-idaho, he said the following: "you've been at that school for FOUR YEARS?? and you're not married yet?? at 'byu-i do??' what's wrong with you?" although he made this comment in jest, it didn't sit right with me. and i began to wonder

is there something wrong with me?

a couple days ago, my roommate was in the library and overheard a conversation between a single guy and a married girl. the subject of dating came up and the married girl asked the guy if he was dating anyone. he said that he had been on a lot of dates with younger girls this semester because "older girls are weird." when my roommate, who is also 23 and single, related this to me, i openly expressed my frustrations but inwardly wondered

am i weird because i'm an "older girl"?

today i feel the need to declare that no, there is nothing wrong with me and that i'm not weird because i'm "older" and single.

there is nothing wrong with being single in your 20s [let alone your early 20s],

there is nothing wrong with getting a degree and entering the workforce,

there is nothing wrong with graduating from byu-idaho a single woman,

and there is absolutely nothing wrong with believing these things are true.

success is not measured by the rock on a woman's ring finger.

success is measured by achieving goals, whether they're career-driven or family-driven.

a successful woman is a woman who is content and happy with what she is doing in life whether she's getting her masters, changing diapers, or making an impact in the workplace.

each of these things are noble and worthy endeavors.

marriage is personal. it happens people throughout all stages of their life depending on when the Lord feels they are ready for it.

and although marriage and motherhood are my greatest desires in life, i am not going to waste my life waiting and wishing for it to happen. because i know that it will happen for me when the Lord sees fit. i trust Him. and i know when it happens, i will be very, very happy.

but that doesn't mean i can't be happy with my life now. i am happy i'm in school and gaining an education. i am happy i'm learning about things that really interest me and enrich my life.

so, let me re-introduce myself.

my name is kellie,

i am an art history student at byu-idaho,

i am single,

i am 23,

i am not an old maid,

i am not unsuccessful,

my marital status does not define me,

and i am one hundred percent satisfied with my life.

la vita e bella

when i left my apartment this morning at 7:50am, armed with a thermos full of peppermint hot chocolate and a banana, i wished i had worn a jacket instead of a sweater.

when i walked through the parking lot at 7:51am, i looked up at the sky and it was bluegrey, pink, and light orange.

looking at that beautiful sky, i forgot i was cold and tired and hungry.

looking at that beautiful sky, i remembered that life is beautiful.

i felt gratitude for this beautiful earth,

and i felt gratitude for my life.

i just wish i could've captured that sunrise.

in which kellie has a good day.

today has been wonderful.

i found out that i will be able to have my own room next semester,

i got a refund for my five dollars that were eaten by the change machine in my complex,

the sky is blue and the sun is warm,

tomorrow is my friday and my spanish class is cancelled,

modern family is on tonight,

and i get to do laundry today [which is good because i'm on my last pair of undies],

AAAAAAAND...

i finally know what i'm going to be for halloween [thanks to crashley]!

drumroll please...

AWESOME, RIGHT?!

now all i have to do is make some birds,

put my hair up,

and throw on a dress and heels and i'm set!

i'm going to rock the 41st ward halloween party.

hop up out of bed, turn my swag on.

willow smith is my new hero.

not only is she will and jada pinkett smith's daughter,

she is nine years-old,

she has awesome style,

a FIERCE hairstyle,

and she has a KILLER SONG out right now called "whip my hair".

here is a music video of her new hit single that is constantly stuck in my head and makes me want to dance like a maniac.

and here is a video that made me smile today.

homesick.

right now i'm homesick for...

this place

these people

and this animal.

presenting...

meet my pumpkin masterpiece!

it's a john lennon/princess hybrid without a name.

and i love it.

autumn is wonderful.

for realskies...

today i have three stories to share.

all of which are typical kellie/future sitcom anecdotes.

ANECDOTE ONE

i was sitting at a desk in the classroom where my usual sunday school class was held, minding my own business, when my fhe brother entered and took the seat next to mine. i greeted him with a smile because i was in a legitimately good mood. he looked at me, smiled, and said, "kellie, you look beautiful today! has anyone told you that today?" and i said no to which he replied, "well, i know there are lists of people who who thought that about you but were too afraid to say it." i was FLOORED. no boy has ever said anything so sweet to me before and i was about to say thank you again when

ALLOFASUDDEN

my gum flew out of my mouth and somehow stuck to my bottom lip.

gross.

he busted up laughing and i was so embarrassed but somehow managed to get through it by saying that i was so surprised by what he said to me that my gum flew out of my mouth.

not my smoothest moment ever.

and not my last unsmooth moment of the day.

which brings me to...

ANECDOTE TWO

my good friend and old fhe brother, matt, invited me and my roommates over to play a board game. so, we made our way up to the aldridge house and began to play the game hoopla [which is AWESOME].

ALLOFSUDDEN

this whiff of dog doo-doo wafted up into my nostrils.

matt asked me if i smelled dog poop and i said yes.

he checked his shoes, found a little mysterious spot on the bottom and decided he was the culprit. as a result, he removed his shoes, threw them outside, and put different shoes on.

but when he sat down, the stench was still there.

so, i checked my shoes and saw nothing on the right shoe, and a HUGE POOP SMEAR on my left shoe.

"IT'S ME!", i yelled as i ran out the door, scraped off the bottom of my shoe on the stoop, and left my shoes on the front porch.

when i returned, i found everyone doubled over in laughter.

it didn't help that, when guessing what a drawing was, i yelled out "MOON PLANET!" or that i did a terrible TERRIBLE impression of sean connery that will NEVER BE REPLICATED.

ANECDOTE THREE

at matt's house, i was offered a vanilla coke and i took it. my roommate, for some reason, texted my friend aaron to tell him i was drinking a coke and he texted me saying he wanted some. so i saved half of mine and planned to take it to his house after i was done playing hoopla.

as planned, i walked over to aaron's apartment, coke in hand, and offered it to him. he drank the whole thing in one swig and handed the "empty", crushed can back to me. aaron brought up a modern family reference ["oscar wilde and crazy brunch"] and i pretended to crush the can on my forehead like they do in the movies.

ALLOFASUDDEN

i spilled coke all over my new, beautiful, steal of a j.crew dress.

i started laughing and dabbing toilet paper [the only paper product in aaron's apartment] on all the stains and aaron ran to his room to get some shout spray.

he then proceeded to spray it ALL OVER ME.

it was weird.

so i had to run home in a dress that looked like someone had shot me multiple times.

come what may and love it, right?

the impossible is possible tonight.

i heard this song at sammy's today and it made me happy.

i also just love this music video a whole lot.

TMI

i'm no stranger to awkward/embarrassing moments.

in 7th grade PE, i was running to first base and my shorts ripped up the side of my leg all the way to my waistband.

in 8th grade, i tripped and rolled down three flights of cement stairs. that is, after falling on my crushoftheweek and almost pulling his pants down.

in high school, we sang "bohemian rhapsody" for one of our final concerts and i did an air guitar jump in front of everyone [this was not embarrassing to me then, but is VERY embarrassing to think about now].

but the moment i experienced today... it takes the cake.

today i went to the community care place in rexburg because i haven't been feeling well.

i told the nurse my symptoms and she directed me to the bathroom to pee in a cup [TMI?].

she closed the door behind me and i assumed she locked it.

but lo and behold, the door swung wide open and at least five people saw me sitting on the pot.

the man who opened the door looked shocked and slammed the door shut yelling an apology through the door.

i waited in the bathroom for a couple extra minutes because i was so embarrassed, and emerged to find three nurses ushering me into my examination room apologizing all the way.

one of the nurses apologized profusely and told me that a doctor would be in to see me soon and closed the door behind her.

after about five minutes of waiting, the door swung open...

and the man who walked in on me in the bathroom WAS MY DOCTOR.

and that, my friends, is why my life should be a sitcom.

i think i need a vacation.

today my parents, brother, and sister arrived in beautiful san diego to visit my brother and his family.

i am chartreuse with envy.

instead of being there, i am stuck in a place where it is necessary to get approval from the rexburg city council for a bunch of people to do a "zombie walk" on main street and where the mayor spoke against the whole shebang by saying, "Some of these parades across the country have got some crackpots in it that are not properly dressed for Rexburg standards."

don't even get me started. don't EVEN get me started.

i guess all i can do for the next 2.5 semesters is listen to this song over and over again and not let the idiots of rexburg get me down.

autumn music

i've been studying for the last hour for a bear of a test in my mesoamerican art class that i have to take at eight am tomorrow morning.

the reason why it's so hard to study for is because i have no idea what to study or how to study everything effectively.

i'm getting very very frustrated.

and whenever i feel frustrated whilst studying, i know that it's time for me to take a break.

thus, the following list...

albums perfectly suited for autumn listening

[in no particular order]

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

what do you like to listen to during autumn?

get off your high horse.

tonight as i was walking with my friend matt and a girl he hometeaches to spanish stadium singing, i witnessed the most infuriating conversation known to man.

kayla* let us know that she was "ten percent engaged" because her almost-fiance had put ten percent down on her ring. she then proceeded to badger matt about how he's not dating anyone right now, even going so far to say, "the prophet has told us that we need to date. you should be going on a date every single weekend." as he explained to her that he barely has enough time to get all of his projects done every week, let alone even think about asking a girl out, she kept going on and on about how she's getting married and how he needed to get married as well.

now, let me just say that i understand the importance of temple marriage. i look forward to finding a man perfectly suited to me and being sealed to him for time and all eternity. i can't wait to be a mother. marriage is a good thing! i know this to be true!

however, as a young, single woman living in the Bubble, i get the marriage sermon at least once a week whether its from a bishopric member, the devotional speaker, a professor, or a sunday school/relief society teacher. the very last thing i want to hear is another lecture about the importance of marriage. especially from a peer.

moving on.

i held my tongue during her speech about marriage and tried to think positively.

but things got worse.

somehow, byu provo was introduced into the conversation. she mentioned something about tunnel singing [?] every sunday and how byu-idaho's knock-off of tunnel singing is stadium singing. so, i made a joke about how that makes sense because byu-idaho is basically a knock-off of byu provo.

bad move, kellie.

i was then subject to another speech about how byu-idaho is "the Lord's University".

now, if you know me at all, you know this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. i listened to her say that byu provo isn't the Lord's University because they focus on educational pursuits more than spiritual growth.

i'm sorry, but how does that make us better than them? isn't gaining secular knowledge important in the eyes of the Lord? don't byu students in provo have to take religion classes just like us in rexburg?

it took all the strength i possess to not fire back at her. i know that even though she had a joking tone in her voice, she really meant what she said and i didn't want to make things awkward [especially because i had just met her], but i'm just so fed up with the bad attitudes that people have up here in regards to other universities.

i wish there was something i could do to help people see that we're not the only people on the face of the earth and that there are good people all over the world.

i wish there was a way i could stomp out the prejudice and rash judgements in people's minds and make them see that every single person on this earth is a true son or daughter of God who deserve love and respect.

i wish i could make them see how wrong they are.

i just want to drop every person like kayla* at byu-idaho somewhere other than rexburg and make them see how stupid they are to think the way that they do.

and that is all i have to say about that.

for now.

[only 2.5ish semesters left]

*name has been changed

patience

this is a beautiful message that really spoke to me today.

enjoy!

the most superficial post you'll ever see from me. guaranteed.

earlier tonight, some friends were asking me who was in my Top Ten.

so, after much thought and deliberation, here it is [in no particular order]:

1.

mark ruffalo

2.

justin timberlake

3.

paul rudd

4.

jack black

5.

jason segel

6.

seth rogen

7.

jimmy fallon

8.

peter sarsgaard

9.

juanes

10.

shia labeouf

and just like that... it's autumn

M. Ward "Chinese Translation" from DJ Bunny Ears on Vimeo.

last night on my sojourn to broulims to buy brussels sprouts, carrots, onion, garlic, and a frozen pizza [for Frozen Pizza Movie Night], i thrust my hands in the pockets of my flannel-lined jacket, burrowed my chin into my lilac scarf, and realized that

it

was

fall.

it's in the air,

the cheers of the crowd at the football games,

the layers of clothing we all pile on,

and the crunch of the leaves underfoot.

maybe my subconscious self was ignoring the yellow and orange leaves and embracing the recent sunshine and warm weather, but even though it is october ninth, i still am surprised with autumn's swift arrival.

i'm not complaining,

just contemplating.

literally from one day to the next it changed from summer to fall.

does that mean that allofasudden fall semester will be over and it will be

winter semester?

and then, as fast as it came, winter will retreat and spring and sunshine and melting snow will prevail?

does that mean that crisp spring mornings will evolve into gorgeous summer afternoons spent in the sunshine?

i guess what i'm trying to say is that

time is a funny thing.

it ebbs and flows like ocean waves.

it flies out of my grasp like an autumn leaf and stays as stagnant as the freshly-fallen snow on a winter morning.

it makes me think...

am i truly taking advantage of my time here?

am i fully appreciating and embracing student/single life?

i honestly don't think so.

and that must change.

this what i like to call a vacation!

it's 2:40 in the afternoon,

it's rainy and cloudy outside,

i had peppermint hot cocoa for breakfast,

and i haven't even showered yet.

I LOVE FRIDAYS.

i felt life and love and hope infested my bones.

today was an absolutely beautiful day full of thunder and lightning, a delicious meal [that actually became two meals], and interesting classes.

in fact, i had five good things about today before dinnertime! AMAZING!

so, here we go:

1. my 19th century art history class was cancelled allowing me to take a...

2. GLORIOUS, WONDERFUL NAP!

3. i finally used part of my zucchini-baby [aka the giant zucchini given to us by our generous fhe brothers] in my italian stir-fry

4. project runway was on!

5. i got the majority of my homework for this weekend all done!

so, all in all, it was a good day [even though i'm definitely coming down with a cold and spent the majority of the day wrapped up in a blanket doing homework].

and that's something to be grateful for.

my 3rd post today and my 300th POST EVER!

in celebration of my 300th [WOW! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??] post, i would like to share this video.

it features two of my celebrity crushes and one of my favorite music genres.

and it is awesome.

here's to 300 more, friends!

enjoy!

shout-out.

i have the best friends and family in the biz.

seriously.

your posse can't even hold a candle to mine. [did i word that phrase right?]

today, as mentioned in my previous post, was rough to say the least.

but i have felt so much love from my friends and i feel so completely blessed.

so, to all of you who have brightened my dark dark day,

i want you to know that i am forever grateful for your kindness and love,

and that your words have comforted me,

and that i love you all.

so, to finish off the list:

3. asphalt pie

4. phone calls from friends who care

5. laughing

on and on again.

it's getting harder and harder to come up with five things that made me happy each day.

but i'm giving it a shot.

1. quiet as a mouse on repeat.

2. "i tell my daughter every day 'THAT'S NOT REAL ART.'" --brother memmott in regards to the way disney puts disney princesses on everything.

3. ...

4. ....

5. .....

i guess two reasons is better than zero.

to be continued?

i love good music more than almost anything in the world.

this evening things turned around for me.

i decided to go to the snow[building] to play some piano and it made my day a thousand million gazillion times better.

i learned how to play

this song

and this song

and it was so therapeutic.

thank goodness for piano, for music, and for a practice room that smells like a freshly-washed boy.

i hate the music from glee more than anything in the world.

this is where my mind is.

taken in san diego october 2009

edited in picnik

today has been pretty bleak.

this list is necessary.

five good things about today, 5 october 2010:

1. the completely obnoxious girl in my mesoamerican class was absent!

2. best friend sent me some new, great music [including the new azure ray, margot and the nuclear so-and-sos, and early metric].

3. texts like this: "Hi Kellie. I love you and im really glad youre my friend"

4. a very much needed four-hour-long nap.

5. sitting next to a good-smelling boy.

grab bag!

i've been listening to this song all day because

IT'S RAINING!

it was the bright spot of my day and i love that fresh smell of rain wafting through my window.

-----------------------

in other news...

1. last night i had a dream that i was watching devotional in the hart and the usher people kept taking people out for no reason. i got pulled out of my seat and waited in a really, really long line that moved very slowly. after what felt like hours, i was shoved into a room with a lady holding up two hangers in one hand and a floor-length, shapeless dress in the other. she looked me up and down with judgmental eyes and told me that i was taken out of devotional because i was dressed immodestly and needed to change out of my clothes into the sack she grasped in her evil talon. i silently stood my ground, staring her down, as she told me i would be kicked out of school if i didn't change. i looked at my modest clothing, seeing nothing wrong with my ensemble, looked back at her, shoved the hangers in her face and pulled the dress over her head and ran out of the room. as i ran, sirens wailed and i heard footsteps with accompanying voices calling out "CODE RED! CODE RED! REBEL IN THE AREA!".

and then i woke up.

i've been in rexburg too long.

one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind

everyone should watch this.

it is stunning and breathtaking and proves how incredible this universe truly is

and how incredible our Creator is for making it all happen.

rent/netflix it asap.

cinco cosas.

well, the novelty has officially worn off.

it's hard to come up with five things i'm grateful for each day.

but there are always five things to be happy about.

and that is all i have to say.

a letter

dear kristen penwell (nee carlson):

today is your lucky day!

as you know, it is tuesday.

and as you know from your previous enrollment as a student at byu-idaho, and as a roommate of mine, it's SCROLL DAY!
which means it's KRISTEN AND KELLIE SCROLL-BASHING DAY!
[the following headlines are, as always, very real and very facetious]
-"Laptops connect to Facebook on campus network"

[hasn't this always been the case?]
-"Canned food provides charity, dates"

[i don't even want to know.]

-"Cell phone use disrupts library studies"

[duh.]
-"Stories come to life on the big screen"

[WHO COMES UP WITH THESE TOPICS??]
-"Rexburg 'bubble' is a rarity and a blessing"

[i'm not even going to talk about this one.]

in closing, i would like to include a letter to the editor entitled "Rebellion, sense of entitlement drowns out the Spirit of Ricks" [author's name withheld for his own personal protection]. enjoy.

"It is unfortunate that a spirit of rebellion persists on the BYU-I campus, which in turn drowns out the Spirit of Ricks and the Spirit of the Lord. From those who knowingly choose to wear flip-flops, to dresses and skirts which do not reach the knees, to those who save seats before devotional.

Do those who save seats before devotional somehow feel entitled to do so, and is that really what the Lord would have us do? To some it might not seem that big a deal to save seats or even slide a little on the Honor Code, but it certainly shows a lack of spiritual integrity to the simplest of principles: obedience.

None of this is meant to pass judgment; I only mention this because of the pervasive attempts by the adversary to lure us to think that 'all is well, yeah [sic] Zion prospereth.' We hear prayers on a regular basis that we will do the will of the Lord; yet, how simple a principle: do not save seats before devotional? Will we maintain a spirit of rebellion, as did Naaman, when Elisha told him to bathe seven times in the river Jordan; and because it was simple, it seemed to be too difficult to follow the council [sic]? (2 Kings 5:10-14).

The first law of heaven is obedience, which is a simple concept. After all, by 'small and simple things, are great things brought to pass,' even if one can't save seats."

seriously?! someone actually has a problem with this?? and has the gall to liken saving seats at devotional to the story of naaman??

this dude is WACK.

kristen, i think it's safe for me to say that you are missed dearly!

until next week,

kellie

ps: here's another gem: "I've fought that stereotype with the violence of a cornered raccoon..." oh, dear.

yesterday and today

saturday:

1. staying in bed until 3:7pm

2. relief society broadcast

3. 11:00pm sojourn to broulims

4. singing motown all the way back home from said sojourn

5. blackberry lemonade

sunday:

1. answers

2. getting through sacrament meeting without making a huge mistake on the piano

3. watching a sarah mclachlan concert dvd

4. being interrogated by an fhe brother

5. phone call with my big sis, kari

now i can finally go to bed! i just barely finished my graphic design homework and i told myself i had to compile my lists right after that before things got hazy and i forgot what happened over the weekend [which happens often].

much love.

yesterday's list.

1. winco with emperor justinian.

2. watching america's funniest home videos and almost peeing my pants.

3. peach yogurt + the best granola in creation.

4. getting 13000 points in skee-ball. i'm out of practice.

5. waking up very, very late.

-------------------------

in other news...

-the relief society general broadcast was tonight and it got me so excited for conference next weekend! can you believe it's been six months already since last conference?? i can't!

time flies, my friends.

time flies.

-i'm afraid i'm lactose-intolerant.

-sometimes it's okay to spend your saturday in pajamas...

IF you're doing homework.

right?

i can make you dance.

1. pepsi throwback.

2. FINDING MY PATRIARCHAL BLESSING IN MY SPANISH BOOK OF MORMON!

3. remembering jonny vulture's hilarious anecdote during class that he shared with me yesterday and laughing out loud.

4. "brother toone, kellie keeps passing me romantic notes!" -- guy in my 19th century art history class

5. project runwaaaaaaaay!

this blog post contains one list and one list only.

1. finding out my sacred art class was cancelled--thus pushing my group's presentation back another day!

2. modern family!

3. laughing and laughing and laughing with friends.

4. aaron tripping accidentally and then breaking into a sprint to cover it up. HILARIOUS.

5. twizlberry.

what a great day.

be happy now.

today was a day of ups and downs tos and fros and backwards and forwards.

today was a day of anxiety and reassurance, annoyance and fondness, impatience and patience, frustration and satisfaction.

today was a day of realization.

my time in rexburg has been rocky [at best]. i've met some incredible people and made the most amazing friends, but i still have ill feelings for this place.

after five years of being here, i still hate hearing people singing disney songs at the top of their lungs whilst walking down the street.

i cannot stand the knee-deep snow and bone-chilling wind.

weekly clean checks are completely unnecessary and ridiculous.

and if i never read another scroll in my life, i will be satisfied.

but i also

love going to ramires at midnight, eating a texano and talking about life with my friends.

i love laughing so hard my sides hurt.

i love talking with my roommates until the wee hours of the morning.

and i love the person i am when i'm here.

today i weighed my personal pros and cons against each other and had this overwhelming feeling that true happiness comes with accepting and loving the stage of life you're in at the moment.

i was frustrated all day today with all of these insignificant annoyances in my life and found myself wishing i could be married or graduated from college or anywhere but rexburg, idaho.

but at the end of the day, after some long, meaningful talks with good friends, it hit me that very soon i will be done here.

one day i will leave this place forever and embark on a new journey.

i don't want to look back on my time in rexburg in a negative light.

i don't want to feel like i wasted my time here.

i don't want to miss out on anything anymore.

and i most certainly don't want to wish my life away.

tomorrow [or today, rather] is a brand new day with endless possibilities.

and i'm starting afresh with a new goal that will be implemented using this blog.

every day i will post five things that made me appreciate this phase in my life.

my mom always says that you can find five good things each day even on the worst days.

and i know that to be true because i've experienced it before.

so, here is my list for today:

1. staying up way too late talking to my roommate.

2. going to the library with friends, eating cookies, and enjoying every minute of it [even though every minute of it (mostly) was spent studying].

3. getting set apart as the ward pianist.

4. eating the same meal for lunch and dinner [soup].

5. figuring out what to be for halloween [possibly R2D2]

this is incredible.

we watched this video in my history of illustration and graphic design class today and it was so enthralling and incredible.

enjoy.

Pictorial Webster's: Inspiration to Completion from John Carrera on Vimeo.

this one's for you, dad!

isn't it great when you're feeling kind of miserable and lonely but then friends stop by your house and make you feel a million times better?

yeah, i think so, too.

[the symphony bar/toasted almond/dark chocolate chip cookies helped, too]

WOE IS ME.

this morning i finished my homework before noon so that i would have time to do something fun tonight.

right now it's 9:00pm and i'm baking cookies and wishing i hadn't done my homework so quickly because i'm so bored and i have zero friends.

patheticsville.

in which i see scott pilgrim vs. the world and embarrass myself.

i just got back from seeing scott pilgrim vs. the world.

remember this post from winter semester about whip it?

I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY ABOUT SCOTT PILGRIM.

you all need to see it as soon as humanly possible.

and hopefully when you see it, you won't sit behind a huge guy and tickle his arms accidentallyonpurpose.

here's the story:

this giraffe sat in front of me and kept shifting in his seat every second causing me to shift in my seat every second so i could see around him. at one point in the movie, he draped his arms around the backs of the chairs on either side of him and was sitting so erect that he blocked my line of sight entirely.

so i nudged my roommate, tanya, and pretended to tickle his arms as a way to get him to move and i didn't realize that his left arm was draped lower than his right and i ended up tickling him FOR REAL.

talk about embarrassing.

BUT, he moved his arms and sat low in his seat for the rest of the movie.

mission accomplished.

something funny happened to me on the way to the kirkham

today at approximately 7:56am the weirdest thing to happen to me in a while occurred.

i was minding my own business walking to my mesoamerican art class [which i love--when i'm not sleeping] when allofasudden this guy in a red shirt walked towards me and started waving. i had no recollection of ever meeting this guy, so i looked really confused. but he kept waving! and finally he said, "hi, kellie!"

i stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't even think of anything to say because this total stranger KNEW MY NAME.

but then i looked behind me and another girl was walking towards him.

her name must have been kellie/kelley/kelli/kelly, too.

so, after standing in the hallway for what seemed like an hour, i scurried off to my class only to find that the total stranger was in the class, too.

earlier this evening, my roommate tanya and i were taking the trash out and he was walking through the parking lot! right in front of us! so tanya said hi, and he saw me and practically ran away.

on our way back to the apartment i told tanya the whole story and she was laughing so hard at the irony of the whole ordeal.

and that's when i realized that sometimes life is just funny because if it was serious all the time, it would be boring.

stuck in my head.

i found myself humming the following songs throughout my day:

this song gets stuck in my head every time i'm in my 19th century art history class.

i'm in the right place.

this song is so perfectly applicable to me right now.
remember how i didn't want to come back to rexburg?

well, i don't know if it's

my roommates,

my classes,

the vitamins i'm taking,

or

the sleepytime vanilla tea i drink every night before i go to sleep,

but i am enjoying myself here.

my classes are awesome.

every

single

one

of

them

[even my intimidating spanish class]

.

i feel completely at home in my classes and have even made comments [GASP] during our class discussions.

i'm learning so much and i love it already!

also, i just got called to be the ward pianist which i'm psyched for!

and it's 11:15pm and all my homework is done!

it's a christmas miracle!

[or an answer to prayer].

speaking of answers to prayers and tough spanish classes,

i was feeling anxious on monday night because i knew that i had spanish the next day.

talia [bless her heart] texted me at the perfect time and i told her how i was feeling sick because of all the anxiety felt about that class, and she told me i wasn't giving myself enough credit.

i denied that and told her i just wasn't smart enough.

as i was reading my scriptures a few minutes later, i came across a passage where nephi was talking about how he was keeping a record but wasn't quite sure why. but he trusted in the Lord and knew that as long as he remained righteous, he would be blessed by the Lord.

i had a little asterisk at the end of the verse that led me to the bottom of the page where i had written the following who knows how long ago:

"The Lord sees things that we do not see. He sees potential in us that we don't see in ourselves. But His commandments to us are 'for a wise purpose.'"

it was the perfect statement for me to read. i was filled with this overwhelming gratitude for that little piece of wisdom and i realized that even though the Lord didn't command me to take this class, He sees potential in me and knows that i will be fine as long as i put forth my best effort and remain faithful and rely on Him. i may not get an A [in fact, i probably won't], but i will get the satisfaction of a job well done because the Lord helped me.

i guess it just goes to show that...

"if you like where you're living,

if you like what you do.

if you like what you're seeing

when you're looking at you.

if you like what you're saying

when you open your face.

then you got the right feeling.

you're in the right place."

it is done.

i'm sitting in my room, listening to some nice music and relaxing with some sleepytime vanilla tea after my LAST FIRST DAY OF FALL SEMESTER.

for the most part, it went well.

i was reminded over and over again that art history is for real the best option for me right now.

and i was also reminded, conversely [?], that spanish is definitely not right for me as a major.

today i had my mesoamerican and 19th century art history classes and i love them already! my teachers are both so enthusiastic about their subject matter and excited to teach us.

on the other hand, i also had my spanish culture and civilization class and felt like i was going to throw up the whole time i was there. it's been a long time since i've had a spanish class. it's been well over a year. but even though it was stressful and overwhelming for me to be in that classroom, something my professor said really hit me. he said that as long as we prepare for our classes faithfully, we will be given the help that we need in order to succeed in all that we struggle with. that really comforted me and motivated me to work hard and do my best so i don't have to take this stupid class again.

in other news:

-first day of school crush has been found.

-my roommates are beyond awesome.

-i made some delicious tomato sauce tonight with fresh tomatoes from the jorgensen family garden [thanks, mom!].

-NO CLASS TOMORROW!

-there was a CRAZY rain/hail storm earlier this evening! beautiful.

-i can't wait to go to my new ward and my other art history classes!

jitters!

i have my outfit picked out,

my bag packed with school supplies,

a playlist to accompany throughout the day,

and i'm super nervous.

some things never change.

even when you're twenty-three years old in your fifth year of higher education.

pray that i make it to my eight am class tomorrow!

ta-da!

my room is officially decorated!

i'm super happy with it!

my side of the room

close-up of shelves

desk

and last, but most certainly not least, my life-size poster of jamison olave.

and in other news...

i got a haircut!

also, school starts tomorrow! my first class is at 8 am.

pray that i wake up in time for it.

written in a hotel room in pocatello, idaho

well, tomorrow is the beginning of the end.

i move into my new place in rexburg tomorrow and thus start the last fall semester at byu-idaho.

i have to say, i'm very excited for this.

i can't wait to graduate and i can't wait to leave rexburg for the LAST TIME EVER next july.

but i also want to make the most of my time while i'm here.

even though i've lived here for five years now, there's so much i haven't done.

hard to believe.

so, here is my college bucket list:

-visit yellowstone and see old faithful

-go to mesa falls in ashton

-see a movie at the drive-in

-go to the haunted swing in rexburg

-bridge-jumping at monkey rock

any other suggestions?

i finished something!

behold!

a finished product.

[this pillow was the inspiration.]

it is FAR from perfect [please do not look too closely],

but now that the dust has settled and i'm looking at it more and more, i've come to realize that it has grown on me.

i've grown accustomed to its face [ala henry higgins]

in fact, i love it.

imperfections and all.

and i think we all know it wouldn't be a true creation of mine if it was perfect.

right?

--------------------------------

in other news...

-i head back to rexburg on sunday[!] and even though half of me is dreading my impending return, half of me is excited.

only three more semesters. i can last that long, right?

-i got a haircut! it's a whole lot healthier and shinier and softer and that makes me happy.

-i'm reading mockingjay right now. it's been harder for me to get into, but i'm still enjoying it.

-who's been watching project runway this season?? how psycho is gretchen?? how awesome and adorable is mondo?? and how incredible was it to hear tim lay down the law?? i can't wait to watch the new episode tonight.

with kari.

and smores.

send it downtown.

i think everyone should experience this.

c'est la vie.

yesterday evening i made a fairly long to-do list that i decided needed to be completed by tuesday afternoon when my parents get back from the greatest city in the u s of a.

i told my mom before she left that the house would be unrecognizable [in a good way] by the time she and my dad got back.

i guess i like to clean now?

anyway, i got myself all excited to make the house all sparkly and then i woke up this morning

with

a

HUGE

HEADACHE.

i feel like this happens every single time i'm excited about doing something.

it's almost like the devil knows i'm going to be happy and slaps me with a migraine.

but, i'm going to be strong and arm myself with some excedrin and peppermint oil and do everything i planned to do today because i know that if i don't i'll be very upset with myself.

and i'll probably listen to the above song the whole time.

because there's nothing like dean martin to put headaches and misery at bay.

------

in other news:

-i leave for rexburg in about three weeks. ONE MORE YEAR.

-i purchased a lovely duvet cover at ikea last week and am super excited to decorated my new room. i even found some vintage fabric in my stash that looks perfect with it that i'm going to use for a pillow cover. and i'm planning on trying my best to recreate this for another pillow form i have lying around [although i don't know which color to use--decisions, decisions].

-obsessed with this song.

-just because i know something is right doesn't make it easy to do.

-what's with bath and body works christening all their newest scents with ridiculous names? i bought a sample bottle of lotion of their newest scent and i really, really like it, but i feel weird wearing a fragrance called Dark Kiss.

ew.

what happened to keeping things simple, bbw?

jo-gro

when i was in high school, i was a diehard josh groban fan.

i would take his eponymous album with me on every single road trip and close my eyes and listen to it over and over again.

and then closer came out.

and i fell in love with him all over again.

i remember sitting in my room and making up my harmonies to his songs hoping that one day i would somehow get the chance to sing with him and then we would fall in love and he would sing "when you say you love me" to me at our wedding and we'd tour all over the world together and take our children with us and are you getting a taste of how creepy i was[am]?

kirsten always said he looked like a muppet.

i disagree.

and i digress.

today i made chocolate-oreo frozen yogurt with hannah and the only thing i wanted to listen to, strangely enough, was josh groban. this might have had something to do with the fact that i caught the tail-end of "to where you are" when i was flipping through radio stations on the way to target today.

i was surprised to find that i had not only remembered every harmony i made up, but EVERY SINGLE WORD TO EVERY SINGLE SONG.

this particular song was my absolute favorite and was on repeat quite often during my high school days.

and i still like it.

and i still harmonize to it.

and sometimes i still imagine that i'm onstage with him in some huge arena filled with soccer moms and thirteen year-olds while i do the dishes.

well, it's official.

my major change petition was approved after approximately four months of waiting unnecessarily.

i am officially an art major with an emphasis in art history.

FINALLY.

CALLING ALL ARCADE FIRE FANS.

everyone should go to amazon and buy arcade fire's newest album, the suburbs, RIGHT NOW because it's only THREE DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE CENTS [$3.99!!!!!!].

what are you waiting for??

un ano

it's been exactly one year since this post was written.

one year ago, i was scared out of my mind in a foreign country meeting the children i now--to this day--love as my own.

one year ago, i had no idea how the lessons i would learn during my time there would affect my life or how much of a changed being i would become upon my return back home to the states.

one year ago, i cautiously stepped inside my first orphanage and was terrified of the workers i later grew to love and admire.

i miss cuenca more than i can adequately express and hope to visit again someday.

but until that time, i'll just be poring over my photos and journal/blog entries wishing i could be back.

cuenca, je t'aime.