day 11: a song from my favorite band

officially, the beach boys are my favorite band.

BUT, the swell season is my favorite band that's still together.

my sister, kari, calls their music bore-core, but i call it ethereal.

glen hansard has the most passionate voice i've ever heard and marketa irglova is otherworldly.

here's my favorite song from their most recent album, strict joy. i think it's the perfect album-opener.

my favorite part: the horns in the very beginning, the bass line, and the lead guitar part during the chorus.

enjoy!

ps: don't you just love glen's guitar??

day 10: a song that makes me fall asleep

i usually like to fall asleep to the radio [npr to be specific], but sometimes the only thing that can lull me to sleep is the lars and the real girl soundtrack. david torn did the music for this movie and each song is soothing and sweet. i'm usually completely asleep by the second song on the album, but i love love love this track [which i never get to hear].

enjoy!

day 9: a song that makes me dance

again, this surprises no one.

BUT, this song never fails to make me dance!

other jams:

-ready for the floor // hot chip

-yeah! // usher

-shake // ying yang twins

day 8: a song i know all the words to

i don't think this is surprising to anyone.

day 7: a song that reminds me of a certain event

let's go back in time to the year 2001.

i was a fourteen year-old eighth grade student at petaluma junior high school. it was the last dance of the school year, but it was my first school dance ever.

i was excited and nervous and praying that someone didn't spike the punch and that at least one boy would ask me to dance. i remember daydreaming in the days leading up to the dance that my blue mohawk-wearing crush, holland, would come ask me to dance and we would fall in love and live happily ever after.

however, at the time, a seventh-grader named nick had a crush on me. i knew this because earlier in the school year he walked up to me, handed me a note, and promptly ran away. the note consisted of a confession of his love, a request for me to be his girlfriend, and two little boxes labelled "yes" and "no". instead of putting a check mark in one of the boxes, i decided to just talk to him and tell him to his face that i didn't like him as a boyfriend. it actually went over well and we became good friends.

i remember standing with my friends in a circle, laughing nervously and feeling self-concious when all of a sudden "truly madly deeply" by savage garden started playing. i felt someone tap my shoulder and i turned around to see nick standing behind me asking me to dance.

he led me out to the dance floor and with each step i panicked more and more. i had seen actors slow dance in movies, but i had never done it before myself.

i was a huge ball of nerves.

this was my first slow dance and i wanted it to be special.

i took a cue from the other girls dancing with their boyfriends and placed my hands on his shoulders and started swaying.

i expected to feel his hands on my hips because that's what all the boys were doing, but his hands ended up on my shoulders.

it was weird.

so, for approximately four minutes and twenty-two seconds, we swayed in a circle with our hands on each other's shoulders, enjoying our very first (and very last) slow dance.

to this day, i can still feel those sweaty seventh-grader hands on my shoulders every time i hear this song. and i think of that fateful night when i learned that there is a right way and a weird way to slow dance.

day 6: a song that reminds me of somewhere

this song is cuenca, ecuador august 2009.

whenever i hear it, i think of the sweetest ninos, the most delicious food, gorgeous weather, happiness, and a sense of belonging.

the second our plane landed in cuenca, i felt like i was home.

i miss it every single day.

i miss being happy, being warm, serving others, holding babies, washing little faces, dance parties on the balcony, lots and lots of hugs, and feeling needed.

my little ninos knew this song by heart and would always sing it to us [sometimes we'd have to bribe them with candy]. i miss that.

i probably won't ever get the chance to physically go back to ecuador, but at least i know that i can be there mentally whenever i hear this song.

i tried. i swear i tried.

i know i said i wouldn't do this anymore, but when i walked past that neatly-stacked pile of byu-idaho's "student-run" newspaper, the scroll, last week i couldn't help myself.

old habits die hard, right?

anydangway, the front page of the newspaper had the following headline: "Rexburg Rapes Revealed as Underreported". the article was surprisingly well-written and informative! but then the author included this lovely statement from the rexburg police captain: "Police Captain Randy Lewis believes that rapes are actually over-reported, because women feel ashamed after having consensual sex".

can you believe that?? and this was stated right after a nurse in rexburg who is specially-trained to help rape victims said that there are more rapes that occur in this city than we may think.

reading that statement from a man who is in charge of protecting this city made me feel sick to my stomach.

as if it couldn't get any worse, reading a letter to the editor that was published in the scroll this week in response to the article made me feel even more upset. the subject line says "Rape article poorly placed" and here it is for all fifteen of you to read:

"I have been disappointed with the Scroll on a number of issues lately, but the choice of last week's front page story evokes only one adjective: distasteful.

I really would like to know who thought an article about rape would make a great headline.

I know there are unfavorable things that need to be reported, but I think the front page could have been reserved for something for inspiring, or at least positive.

I understand an article such as this one might give girls who have been wronged more courage to stand up for themselves. I wonder, though, if the article might send a different message to deviant young men.

I know we all agreed to live by the honor code, and I am impressed by most of the students I know.

I think there are still those (of both genders) who might go astray given the chance.

To that faction of male students, I think the article seems to say, 'Rape cases are underreported in Rexburg, so you have a pretty good chance of getting away with something you know you shouldn't do.'

This statement might upset some, but I wonder whether anybody had the same concern when they picked up the Scroll on Tuesday."

you best believe i'm writing a letter to the editor about this.

sorry, homework. you're going to be put on the back burner tonight.

stay tuned for my response.

day 5: a song that reminds me of someone

me and my very best friend alyx met almost six years ago (!!!!) here at byu-idaho. back in 2005, we were little college freshman girls who enjoyed rooney, cookie monsters, cleaning the kitchen with celine dion blasting in the background, playing pranks on our weird roommates, having balancing contests on the arms of the couch [which i always lost. ALWAYS], and talking for hours in our room until i would pretend to fall asleep so she'd be quiet [haha].

now, five and a half years later, we're in completely different states leading different lives. she's a wife and a mother of the most adorable baby boy on the planet [i'm allowed to say that now because all my nephews are past the baby stage] and i'm a college student [still] living the single life. but even though we don't see each other or talk as much as we used to, there isn't a single day that goes by without me thinking of her. i miss her so much and wish we lived closer [oh, crap. here come the tears].

i could've picked so many songs that remind me of alyx [i.e. if it were up to me by rooney, it's all coming back to me now by celine dion, ice ice baby by vanilla ice, an innocent man by billy joel, that song by colors that chelise used to listen to all the time, wind beneath my wings by bette midler (we still need to watch beaches together!), the greatest love of all by whitney houston, the dawsons creek theme song, and any song from high school musical (hahaha)], but the one that sticks out in my mind the most is "displaced" by azure ray. we never listened to this song together or had any shared experience that somehow was connected to this song, but whenever i hear it, i think of her when i hear these words:

"and she's my friend of all friends,

she's still here when everyone's gone.

she doesn't have to say a thing,

we'll just keep laughing all night long."

it's fitting that orenda fink and maria taylor [aka azure ray] are best friends in real life. their friendship inspired this song and their words make me feel so grateful for my own best friend. when i hear this song, i recall all the good memories we have had together [most of which are written down (thanks to alyx!) and probably need to be made into a book of memoirs] and thank my lucky stars that i have such an incredible best friend in my life.

i'm so grateful that alyx and i met that fateful august day in 2005 and that our first impressions of each other were dead-wrong [we didn't like each other at all! can you believe that?].

and, alyx, thanks for being my friend of all friends.

i miss you.

because yesterday and today were that horrible...

ten good things:

1. watching the goonies yesterday with some of my favorite rexburgians.

2. banana cake with cinnamon cream cheese frosting [made by my roommate].

3. receiving my memory card for my camera in an uplifting card from my wonderful mom.

4. receiving a letter from none other than miss megarilla haslambs who is in the mtc!

5. laughing like crazy in my spanish class.

6. quinoa and rice with curry for dinner on a bone-chilling cold day.

7. making a flyer with mr. t on it for the ward talent show on wednesday.

8. finally getting done with plato and aristotle in my art philosophy class and going on to reading excerpts from leonardo da vinci's journals! fascinating!

9. having my second class cancel on me so i could have more time to check off the items on my to-do list.

10. being reminded, once again, of my saint of a mother. she deals with my ranty phone calls all the time and i'm sure she's sick of them, but she still deals with me and makes me feel better. she's the greatest mom on earth.

that was a lot easier than i thought it would be!

and now i feel better!

ps: i'm loving this thirty day music challenge. so. much. it's way fun! i encourage everyone with a love of music to join me!

thirtydaychallenge[day4]: a song that makes me sad

when i was a freshman here at byui, i took a class called american heritage. my teacher was stern, strict, and used teaching methods that didn't work for my brain. final grades in his class consisted of attendance and the four monster tests he gave throughout the semester. i went into the testing center to take my very first test for that class, felt confident about it while taking it, and was immediately flummoxed when i looked at the screen displaying my grade: D-.

i was devastated.

i remember walking home to my dorm, flopping on the couch, and listening to this song on repeat. maybe i should have listened to something a little more upbeat, but sometimes you just want to be sad for a while. and for me at that time in my life, this song was just the ticket. ever since that day, this has been my go-to bad day song. it's perfectly melancholy.

thirtydaychallenge[day3]: a song that makes me happy

the first time i ever heard this song, i was with my brother karl in the jorgensen minivan on our way home from the library. karl had checked out an electric light orchestra album so he put it in the cd player and we laughed and smiled the whole way home. it was a scene out of a movie [speaking of which... i've heard this song in so many movies recently. weird].

it's impossible to listen to this song and not feel energized afterwards.

try it.

i triple dog dare you.

the most perfect postcard secret and neko case

"how will you know if you found me at last?

cause i'll be the one, be the one, be the one with my heart in my lap."

--from "i wish i was the moon" by neko case--

thirtydaychallenge[day2]: my least favorite song

this might sound crazy, but it was way harder thinking of my least favorite song than it was thinking of my most favorite song.

but i'm pretty sure this is it. the very worst of the worst.

runners up:

-groovy kind of love // phil collins

-blah blah blah // ke$ha

-feelin groovy // simon and garfunkel

thirtydaychallenge[day1]: my favorite song.

this was nearly impossible for me to pick. but i am 99.9% certain that it is my all-time favorite song.

why, you ask?

1. it is sung by the beach boys, my very first favorite band.

2. it is sung by carl wilson, my very favorite beach boy.

3. it describes love in a beautiful way.

4. that falsetto... it KILLS me!

5. it never fails to make me smile.

so, without further ado, i bring you my very favorite song in the history of songs...

i can hear music by the beach boys

CHALLENGE!

i saw this thirty day song challenge on brooke white's blog. you may remember her from american idol a few seasons back. anyway! she posted recently about doing this challenge and after reading it the list, i knew i just had to do it, too.

i've been running out of things to say on this blog that don't have to do with my disdain for all things byu-idaho, but i still wanted to blog more, so this is a good way for me to stick to my new year's resolution of being more positive and my other new year's resolution to blog more!

WIN-WIN-WIN!

without further ado, here's the list:

Day 01 – Your favorite song

Day 02 – Your least favorite song

Day 03 – A song that makes you happy

Day 04 – A song that makes you sad

Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone

Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere

Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event

Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to

Day 09 – A song that you can dance to

Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep

Day 11 – A song from your favorite band

Day 12 – A song from a band you hate

Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure

Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love

Day 15 – A song that describes you

Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate

Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio

Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio

Day 19 – A song from your favorite album

Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry

Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you're driving

Day 22 – A song that you work out to

Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding

Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral

Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh

Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument

Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play

Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty

Day 29 – A song from your childhood

Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year

care to join me in this challenge?

DEREZZED!

there is nothing more beautiful than a clear-blue-skied winter day after a night of snowfall.

in fact, it was so beautiful out that i ventured out to the grocery to get some ingredients for "family" dinner tomorrow and came home a complete sweaty mess.

i love looking out my big window and seeing the snow-covered branches glistening in the sunlight.

absolutely gorgeous.

---------------------

in other news...

i saw this movie last night!

it was AWESOME.

if you ever see lyndee, ask her how much i liked it.

she'll probably reply by saying i was freaking out the whole time [in a good way].

especially when this song started playing after the daft punk cameos!

GO SEE IT.

numero tres.

Baby's First Audition from alex on Vimeo.

my name is bundaberg ginger beer and i'm a non-alcoholic beverage.

a lot of funny things seem to happen to me here in idaho.

take, for instance, the time i was sitting at a desk writing a paper and the guy sitting behind me accidentally ran his fingers through my hair while leaning backwards to stretch his back.

or, the time my roommate and i were walking through the library past a few celebrity caricatures done by illustration students and she pointed out the one of jack black and called him my boyfriend right when a guy i had never seen before in my life walked the opposite way. he looked at us like we were insane and kept walking and that's when we realized that he thought my roommate had called him my boyfriend. we laughed about that one for about ten minutes.

but this experience i'm about to relate [at the behest of my dear sister, kirsten], might possibly take the cake.

one day, i went to broulims to get some essentials with my old roommate, tanya. i bought sticky-tac, address labels, and bundaberg ginger beer [i highly recommend it]. it was a beautiful, sunny day and i smiled the whole way home, thinking about the cold, frosty ginger beer i would consume with my pita and hummus sandwich i would have for dinner. when i got home, i stuck the 4-pack in my fridge and took a nap. i woke up a couple hours later and made my delicious sandwich, took my now-cold bottle of ginger beer out of the fridge, and turned on the tv to watch gilmore girls.

pure bliss.

however, that bliss was interrupted when a roommate of mine came home. after exchanging a few pleasantries, the confrontation began. here's how it went down:

her (looking very nervous and serious): kellie, i have a question to ask you.

me (feeling very nervous): uh, okay. shoot.

her: is that your beer in the fridge?

me: you mean ginger beer? yeah, it's mine.

her: well, me and our other roommates found it in the fridge and just assumed it was yours. we don't feel comfortable having alcohol in the house.

me (trying desperately not to laugh/scream): you know it's not really beer, right?

her: but it says beer on the bottle...

me: no, it says "non-alcoholic ginger beer" on the bottle. it's just like root beer or ginger ale.

her: oh! well, that's a relief! while you were napping, we knocked on your door so we could have a discussion about the word of wisdom with you. i'm glad it's not really alcohol.

me: uh, yeah. me too.

a few hours later, that roommate's friends came over. i stayed in my room with the door closed to keep myself from saying something to her i would [possibly] later regret. but through that closed door, i heard her tell each one of her friends to open up the fridge and look inside because there was something in there that would "freak them out".

each one of them did just that.

the moral of this story is: if you're going to snoop on other people, make sure you do your research [and maybe read the clearly-labeled bottle] before you make any snap judgments.

and hide your real beer in the mini-fridge in your room*.

*just in case the honor code police are reading this, i am 100% JOKING ABOUT THIS and DO NOT condone the hiding of alcohol in any way.

have you had your daily dose of charming today?

She & Him - Don't Look Back from Merge Records on Vimeo.

i'm never taking a nap ever again.

i felt like i was walking through haze all day today.

something didn't feel right.

i knew i was tired from a couple of late nights this week,

so i decided to take a nap.

as i climbed under my covers, i curled up in a little ball, smiled [i discovered this about myself the other night--as i'm drifting off to sleep, i have a huge smile on my face. i guess i love the feeling of being all snuggly and warm in my bed], and fell asleep.

BAD IDEA.

the second i woke up, i had a terrible headache.

it felt like someone or something was inside my brain pounding on my eyeballs.

i got out of bed, and was hit by a sudden wave of nausea.

stumbling to the bathroom, i sat by the toilet and waited for whatever was making my stomach angry to resurface,

but nothing happened.

so, i trudged back to my room, rubbed peppermint oil on my temples, drank a baby coke and took a walk.

when i got back home, my headache was gone,

my nausea had subsided,

and i felt infinitely better.

today i am grateful for caffeine,

peppermint oil,

understanding friends,

minimal homework,

and

winter walks in the brisk, cool air.

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry

yesterday was monday, martin luther king day, a day off, and the first fhe of the semester.

after we had played a game called "smurf" [what is it with mormons and weird group games??] and got to know each other a little better, one of my new fhe brothers struck up a conversation with me. he was a nice guy, slightly nerdy, and when he asked me what my major was, the conversation took an interesting turn. it went a little something like this:

him: so, what's your major?

me: art history.

him: oh... i'm sorry!

me: uh... why are you apologizing to me?

him: i don't know. it just seems like such a boring major. what do you even study, anyway? art and the history behind it?

me: uh... yeah. that's exactly what i study as an art history major. it's actually way more interesting than you think it is. i love it!

him: oh, okay.

me: so, what's your major?

him: healthcare administration.

me: oh, I'M SORRY!

him: ...

me: just kidding.

i'm sad to say that this is not the first time this has happened to me. i don't get it! why is art history such a turn-off to some people? it's a fascinating subject! i wish everyone who has dissed art history had to take a class so they could learn for themselves how awesome it is.

i guess in the meantime, i'll just have to give the ignoramuses a taste of their own medicine.

say my name, say my naaaaaaaaaaaame!

[originally written 11 january 2011]

days like these [0 degrees, frustrating living arrangement, general dislike of most everything] require a special mantra:

"this is your very last winter in the tundra."

repeating that over and over to myself in my mind usually helps.

but, while talking to my mom on the phone today, i realized that i have the wrong attitude about being here.

those who know me well know i loathe rexburg with everything in me [actually, anyone could know that just from reading this blog for five minutes].

although i'm made some truly incredible friends and met some great people,

there are ten bad experiences for every good weekend and a hundred crazy zealots in this town for each bosom friend.

but, i have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that acts as a debbie downer/reality slap and tells me that while right now i'm anticipating the end of my time here, my last day in rexburg will be a day of mixed feelings.

that even while i'm driving away for the very last time and moving out for good, that drive will be a sad one.

that voice reminds me that ten years from now, i'll [partially]forget the pain and frustration and remember the good times i had and wish i could be back in those dorms, that lecture hall, or dumpster diving in the alley by ye olde great harvest.

and frankly, that voice terrifies me.

i don't want to leave this town feeling like i wasted my time or regretted not doing things that i have always wanted to do.

being a college student means constantly gaining wisdom and knowledge both in the classroom and outside of it.

from learning what an apse is to learning how to deal with difficult people, student life is spent in a classroom whether that's a lecture hall or your apartment.

although sometimes i feel like i've learned all i need to learn in the apartment-classroom of my life, i know that is not true.

there is always a lesson to be learned from every roommate, every difficult classmate, and each ward crush that i never did anything about.

i'm not saying these experiences will magically disappear after i leave rexburg, but they probably won't happen as frequently.

it's almost like college life is comparable to cramming for a tough test.

the lessons we learn in higher education will prepare us for experiences we'll have in "real life".

my art readings professor argued that post-grad life is not "real life" and that we need to be content with where we are in life and treat it like "real life".

although i agree with part of that statement, i would say that byu-idaho is not real life. it is the precious few years spent at home as a child before that daunting first day of kindergarten. except this time, i will emerge as a twenty-four year-old woman with confidence in her future instead of a five year-old girl with a death grip on her mom's hand. that fear i felt as a kindergartener will be replaced with relief and joy and excitement.

so, i guess what i'm trying to say in this rambling post is that i'm taking charge of my attitude this semester and enjoying and savoring all the things i probably won't get to do again after i leave this place for good.

--------------------------

[present day]

it has been forever since i last posted! my excuse is that my classes are kicking my butt and i'm spending my weekends playing as hard as i work.

this weekend was pretty incredible! it started with milkshakes and rock n roll at sammy's on friday. a couple bluesy-type bands played and at one point, i was given a tambourine to play for 30 seconds! it was pretty awesome and fulfilled a dream of mine.

saturday was spent doing homework all. day. long. but then i rewarded myself with a beyonce concert dvd viewing with lyndee and her roommate.

sunday was filled with church, apartment dinner, worst-date stories, she's the man, and a late-night trip to dennys.

today will be a homework day and a going to sleep very early day because i was up until 3:00am last night [PARTY ANIMAL]. lets just say i am very grateful for having no school today.

thanks, MLK!

all good things will be added unto you.

earlier today i was minding my own business, watching an episode of the cosby show [season 4 finale] on the road to idaho, when all of a sudden i was using every ounce of strength within me to stop the tears in my eyes from flowing over my lids onto my cheeks.

here's why:

at first, i was blaming the sudden emotions on my departure from my home and my family, but i know now that the reason why i was crying was because i felt the truthfulness of the lyrics in the very depths of my soul. seeing this performance comforted me and reminded me that if i put the Lord first, He will bless me. one of my new years resolutions for 2011 is to grow closer to Him and to truly get to know Him better and this was the perfect way to begin that journey.

doesn't phylicia rashad have the most beautiful, soulful voice?

i'm a little bit jealous.

which reminds me...

------

in other news...

-tomorrow i move into my new place. expect some photos in the near future.

adios, 2010!

only sixty-four minutes left of 2010!

i have to say, i'm not too sad to see it go.

although i've met some incredible people,

made some pretty pivotal decisions,

and received much-needed guidance for life,

it's also been a year full of frustration and heartbreak and hard times.

i'm so grateful for my beautiful family and supportive friends for sticking with me through it all. you all have been such a huge blessing in my life.

i hope you all know that.

i have a good feeling about 2011.

it'll bring the end of my college career,

the end of life in rexburg,

and the beginning of new post-grad life.

i can't wait to see what else is in store for me this year!

thanks for sticking with me for another year, mi gente!

and

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

counting down the minutes

it's 2:16am.

i'm still cleaning for white glove.

and i'm running on four hours of sleep.

BUT...

tomorrow i will be home!

and tomorrow is the byu-idaho center [borrrrrrinnnnggggg naaaaaammmee] dedication [exciting event]!

and very soon i will be reunited with my amazing family.

HOORAY!

I'M A SURVIVOR! I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP! I'M NOT GONNA STOP! I'M GONNA WORK HARDER!

all day today i felt this great absence of motivation.

this is a terrible thing for me because the worst of finals week isn't over yet.

but the thing that kicked me in the pants and got me back into the mindset of papers and presentations and tests was not the power nap i took this afternoon, the frozen yogurt i ate for dinner, or the hilarious moment in the library that had me and lyssa laughing until our sides ached.

the motivation kicker for me was this song. i know it's a little cheesy, but it's the only thing holding me together right now. well, that and the fact that i will be sleeping in my own room in my own big bed in only a few days.

but for reals, you guys.

this song will be my theme song for the next year.

i should embroider the lyrics on a pillow or something.

beauty.

vacation mode.

finals are next week.

yet i just can't seem to bring myself to finish my research paper,

or study for my tests,

or work on anything that i really need to finish.

instead, i find myself sitting on my bed,

stomach rumbling,

with

absolutely

zero

motivation.

can it just be next saturday already?

double dream hands!

if you're feeling remotely like me today, you probably need a little pick-me-up.

what with the stress of finals and packing up all my belongings, i'm feeling a little crazy [much like the lady pictured above].

so, without further ado... here is an Official Grade-A Pick-Me-Up:

ps

CHECK OUT MY NEW WATCH!

my roommate got it in her happy meal and graciously gave it to me after my other roommate told her i had been coveting it.

win-win-win!

i was his kryptonite.

sometimes...

...i accidentally buy waterproof mascara and have to remove it later that night with a vegetable oil-soaked cotton ball.

...i keep a kleenex in the sleeve of my cardigan like my old high school choir director.

...i feel like going to bed at 7:44pm.

...i have weirddddd dreams that thoroughly freak me out the next morning [this one involved a polygamist, a divorce filing, and a superhero who couldn't look at me or else he would die].

...testimony meeting has a theme of "let's all tell mission stories!' [or, as i like to call it, "maybe if i tell a story about how awesome i was as a missionary, that cute girl will be impressed!"].

...i mess up whilst playing piano for sacrament meeting and don't care at all [although most of the time i do care].

...i'm thankful for waterproof mascara when i've had a weekend like this one.

an open letter

dear friends and family:

if i have snapped at you or gotten frustrated with you, please know that it is not personal.

all i want right now is to be in utah to see my amazing nephew get baptized and go to my awesome niece's dance recital.

and i'm sorry for talking about missing those things excessively.

it's hard being far away from them and missing those events is killing me [literally].

please know that i love you all and will hopefully get over this huge disappointment very soon.

sincerely,

kellie

CUTE OVERLOAD.

"dance, you slaves! DANCE FOR OUR AMUSEMENT!"

i've been loving these shows lately.

i grew up watching laverne and shirley.

over thanksgiving break i watched an episode with my sister and remembered how amazing it is!

the pace of the show is totally insane but that's what makes it great.

i love laverne and shirley's friendship and think their lives look so fun!

also, i think i need a lenny and a squiggy in my life.

here's a clip from the episode we watched last night.

the really good stuff starts at 4:47.

batman is a show i never thought i would watch.

but it's so bad it's awesome.

last night we watched an episode with a fat, white, old "king tut" [shown below].

so amazing.

this is probably the best minute you'll spend today.

watch the glory!

thank goodness for the hub.

ps:

two last things:

1. i don't know why the format is so messed up on my previous post.

sometimes blogger is very very stupid.

2. i feel kind of funny requesting this, but i could really use some extra prayers this week. it's going to be a physically/mentally/emotionally challenging week and i have a feeling that i might completely break down.

so, if you feel so inclined, please pray for me to be happy and positive and productive this week.

i need a[nother] vacation.

well, it's finals and i'm sick.

this is the worst possible timing because i have my first of four presentations [for one class, mind you] tomorrow.

and my group and i have yet to come up with a concrete plan or outline for it.

needless to say, i'm freaking out a little.

but since i've been working on my "part" of the presentation all day long, i decided that i need a break.

here is what's on my mind/in my ears:

1.

this song came on my ipod while i was walking to class yesterday morning as a light snow was falling.

and it was a perfect moment.

2.

.

"i'll do it... but i'm going to be grumpy... until the end of this sentence!"

i need to be more like kenneth parcell.

3.

BUY THIS ALBUM.

[i'm having fun now // jenny & johnny]

4. i can no longer go to my nephew's baptism or my niece's dance recital this weekend.

i am one hundred percent heartbroken about it.

but i'm sick and next week will be even busier than this week and every extra minute i have to do homework helps.

i've been crying all afternoon. in fact, just writing about it makes me cry.

i feel like i miss everything when i'm up here in rexburg [which makes me hate this place even more].

5.

on repeat.

i'm tearing up as i write this.

thanksgiving break has come and gone.

and it's been incredible

even though i had to do lots of homework

and my family was sick.

i'm so so grateful for my family.

i really needed this time away from rexburg.

some highlights:

1. my five year-old nephew expressing gratitude for turkey legs.

2. dancing like a maniac in the middle of the road to make my niece and nephews smile so my sister could take fotos of them for their christmas card.

3. harry potter seven part one!

4. seeing my newest, darling niece, ingrid, twice! [comma explosion!]

5. getting the giggles while playing singstar with kari.

6. helping my mama make an apple pie.

7. visiting the orem library.

8. coming up with a post-grad plan. [grad school?/!]

9. eating delicious, delicious food.

10. seeing hannah grace!

it was a lovely break.

thank you, family, for making it so wonderful!

home = heaven

some people say that home is where you hang your hat.

i beg to differ.

i hang my proverbial hat in rexburg the majority of the time, but rexburg is not my home.

for me, home is where my beautiful family is.

the moment i walked in the door, i felt peace and love and happiness.

i wish i could stay forever.

but, alas, finals are in a few weeks and i still have two more semesters in idaho.

i'll worry about that a week from now.

but right now, i'm going to enjoy eating this delicious cake that just came out of the oven.

[recipe found here]

god natt!

i am writing this in my mesoamerican art history class.

GUESS WHAT.

i'm coming home today!

i am beyond excited for some much-needed quality time with my family.

HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY!

inspiration

in my history of design and illustration class on monday we learned about charles and ray eames.

they are a husband and wife duo who were very influential in the world of american modernist design,

and they just happen to be the cutest couple ever.

as we looked at their work, it really spoke to me. i loved everything i saw!

this is their home. BEAUTIFUL.

and here are some beautiful designs.

amazing, right?

i know it's not thanksgiving yet, but...

today i am grateful for:

new life

my new niece, ingrid

thanksgiving break

assignments that are due later than i thought

class at 1:15pm

arcade fire

no snow

a clean room

and

my beautiful family.

ADRENALINE.

tomorrow i have to pray/give a spiritual thought in my spanish class.

i am TERRIFIED.

it's been a long, long time since i've prayed in spanish and i don't remember how to do it and all my spanish-speaking friends are busy so i'm freaking out just a little bit.

i also have a pretty big art history test tomorrow which isn't helping my nerves at all.

can it please be thursday?

love love love!

i've been watching these videos for the past half hour and i cannot accurately describe in words how much i love them.

incredible!

holy cow.

[this gem was captured back in august]

today is my amazing nephew's EIGHTH BIRTHDAY.

i have no idea where the time went.

it seems like just yesterday i was being woken up really early in the morning by my dad telling me that i had a new nephew.

i remember carrying around pictures of him that my mom emailed me and showing them to all my friends.

i remember carrying him around target once when he was a chunky baby.

and now he's all grown up and getting baptized soon!

he is such a special boy and i love him so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, D!

words to live by.

"A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was."

--yoda--

i was watching the empire strikes back earlier tonight and these words hit me.

i mean, no one wants to end up like darth vader.

if you're constantly looking to the future, you won't appreciate the place you're in today.

i feel like i talk about this a lot, and for that i apologize, but i just feel this great need to keep my mind on where i am right now.

and it helps to be reminded of that goal often.

especially whilst watching star wars.

that yoda really knows what he's talking about.

snowflakes!

IT'S SNOWING IN MY LIVING ROOM!

i am the teensiest bit obsessed with making snowflakes this year.

last night, my roommate and i spent about an hour procrastinating homework and making beautiful snowflakes and hanging them on our ceiling as part of our festive holiday decor.

this is one of my favorites. it's made out of an old scroll issue.

it's the best way to use the scroll, in my opinion, because it's not worth reading.

i guess toilet paper would be a good option, as well...

we haven't finished everything yet, so this is more of a sneak peek,

but i just couldn't wait to show you these beauties!

how are you decorating your place for the holidays?

sunny disposition

this morning was gray, snowy, and freezing.

i was tempted to stay in bed until the last possible second,

but i decided to clean the kitchen instead.

and mop the floors.

and make my bed.

and clean and vacuum my room.

it's amazing how cleanliness and happy songs can change one's mood almost instantaneously.

if you're having a grumpy/cold/snowy/difficult/frustrating day, feel free to listen to the playlist posted below.

i promise it will make your day infinitely better!

a few favorites :: christmas music

i absolutely adore christmas music.

i usually can't start listening to it until after the first snow,

and since it started snowing today [!!],

my yuletide tunes have been joyfully ringing in my ears all day!

here are some favorite christmas albums of mine:

1.

jackson 5 christmas album

2.

a charlie brown christmas // vince guaraldi trio

3.

songs for christmas // sufjan stevens

4.

ella wishes ou a swinging christmas // ella fitzgerald

5.

a christmas album // bright eyes

6.

merry christmas from the beach boys

7.

christmas with the rat pack

what christmas albums do you like to listen to?

and so it begins.

it has been snowing

ALL

DAY

LONG.

when i woke up to those white flakes drifting from the sky, i was automatically angry and annoyed and grumpy and wanting to stay in bed all day.

but then i took some time to reacquaint myself with it,

and i saw the beauty in the cleanliness

and simplicity

and peacefulness of it all.

i switched out memories of

mascara streaming down my face as a result of the bulletlike snow pelting my eyes on my way to class,

cold toes,

ruined coiffures,

and slipping and falling all over the place

with thoughts of

sledding on the uvu campus,

making gigantic snowmen,

decorating the tree,

and watching white christmas whilst drinking hot cocoa.

so, with my new positive outlook in place

i slapped a smile on my face,

started decorating the living room [fotos will be posted at a later date],

and started listening to some christmas music.

and now, i am legitimately content.

BABIES!

in honor of my as yet unborn niece ingrid's due date today [note: due date, not arrival], i watched this beautiful film about the first year of a baby's life in four different areas of the world.

it was adorable and touching and giggle-inducing and i LOVED EVERY SECOND [the mongolian baby was my absolute favorite! those cheeks!!].

if you know me at all, you know that i've been pretty baby-crazy since i got back from ecuador. prior to watching this, i was afraid that it would make my baby insanity worse, but it didn't!

if you are:

a. a mother

b. a future mother

c. a daughter

d. baby-crazy [like me]

e. a father

f. a future father

then you need to watch this.

here's a little taste:

my thanksgiving wish list.

it's been a rough week.

thank goodness thanksgiving break is in a couple short weeks!

in anticipation of this much-needed vacation, i have compiled a list of things i would like to do while i am home.

1. see harry potter and the deathly hallows part one

2. eat delicious food

3. see the lights at temple square

4. play singstar and ddr with kari

5. [hopefully] see my new niece, ingrid [!!!!!!]

6. eat cold apple pie for breakfast the day after thanksgiving

7. relax

8. get lots of hugs from my mom and dad

9. help my mom cook thanksgiving dinner

10. learn how to make the best apple pie ever

that is all i ask.

i can't wait to come home!!

.ereh ti etah i

right now i'm feeling completely and utterly hopeless.

i feel like i'll never get out of this place.

i have to take these two "foundations" classes [loooooong story] and i can't even sign up for one of them for next semester because i need to take a pre-requisite english class. at this rate, i won't get out of here next spring like i had originally planned.

i'm not excited about any of my classes next semester. none of them interest or excite me but because i go to this stupid school, my options are very limited.

i seriously don't know how much of this i can handle.

i feel like byu-idaho is darth vader and i'm someone he strangles with the force.

i feel suffocated and frustrated and fed up with everything and everyone here.

thanksgiving needs to come sooner.

i just saw inception for the very first time.

mind = blown.

cinematic perfection.

that's all i have to say about that.

a simple question.

who in their right mind would change their clothing in the bathroom [not a stall, mind you, the main part of the bathroom] of a building on campus?

i pose this question because i just walked into the bathroom and there was a girl just standing there in her underwear.

WHY?!

people here are so weird.

just two final thoughts for the day.

1. i have never been so inspired to pick up a guitar/ukulele/piano [it's impossibly to pick up a piano alone] and practice until my fingers bleed.

with every show i attend, there comes with it a feeling of inadequacy and desire and wishfulness [i'm the queen of wishful thinking (a la go west)] to be those people on the stage, singing their emotions and sharing the contents of their minds and hearts with all who listen.

but there's always that side of me that tells myself i'm not good enough and never will be.

how do you tell a part of you to shut up?

how does one get over these feelings of inadequacy?

2.

this video is pretty awesome. i love alone time so much, but my alone time occurs in my room and not outside of my apartment.

i feel this need to feel comfortable being alone [sans ipod/cell phone] so this was a very educational video for me to watch.

it also helps that it's beautifully done.

the sky is on fire.

1. registration on the byu-idaho website is impossible. and frustrating. especially when you want to get out of here ASAP and all the classes you need to take in order to accomplish this are offered at the same times.

.ereh ti etah i

2. i have the solution for insomnia: jonsi and alex + sleepytime tea.

.gnihtoos os

3. my graphic design teacher made the funniest accidental pun today. we were talking about the bauhaus and how it believed that all art had the same foundation and he said "they believed that all art was De Stijl'd into... wait a second... i mean, distilled!" the whole class started laughing so hard and it took a little bit to get everyone back on track.

.sdren era ew

4. the sunsets in rexburg have been gorgeous lately. i'll look out the window and everything will look rosy and pink. the next time i look out, the sky will be on fire.

.gnikathtaerb ylpmis

5. how is it november already?? this news both excites and terrifies me. i'm excited for thanksgiving, but terrified for what happens after thanksgiving: FINALS.

.dnim ym fo tuo deracs

6. beatles rock band is incredible.

.efil ym otni uoy teg ot tog

7. today was so warm and beautiful, but my roommates are playing christmas already.

.tey gnivigsknaht neve ton s'ti

8. any bad day can be made better by watching modern family.

".pmub tsehc yug strops"

hold on love

on saturday i had the opportunity and privilege to see azure ray live at the state room in salt lake city.

(maria taylor + orenda fink = azure ray)

it was glorious.

i sat in a church pew for the whole show [which was both weird and fitting] and just soaked up all the beauty of their music.

before the show started, i decided that the only song i wanted/needed to hear that night was "displaced". and, lucky for me, it was the second song they chose to perform and, needless to say, i was not disappointed. tears stung my eyes as i listened to the song that got me through the hardest of times and thought about my family and friends and how much i love them all.

(here is a crappy video of this beautiful song)

every song they played was gorgeous and perfect and dreamy and emotional.

i'm so glad i went.